BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. APRIL 21, 2004 Copyright © 2001-2018 Bongo News, Inc.
» back issues

» search site

best of
bongo news

Bob Woodward: "I'm Spending the Rest of My Life in Bush's Shorts"
... Full story

Genealogical Study Shows a Cheney Always Carried a Bush
... Full story

Karl Rove Regrets the "Mission Accomplished" Sign
... Full story

GOP Temporarily Loses Control of Attack Machine
... Full story

Rosie O'Donnell Keeps Showing Up at America's Big Moments; Does She Have Gump Syndrome?
... Full story

Fund Started for Laid Off Porn Stars
... Full story

Swedish Professor Calls Topless Heidi Klum a Hooker
... Full story

Scientists Confirm Brain Bone is Connected to Ass Bone
... Full story

Arkansas 'Young Mother' Award Winner is Pregnant With 15th Child
... Full story

Buy a Wooden Box Made by Jesus the Carpenter
... Full story

Optical Illusion
... Full story

Miss Alabama Was Not a Good Loser in the Beauty Pageant
... Full story

Carl's Letters: Advice to Bush on Bob Woodward's Book
Letter from Carl Estrada to George Bush... Full story

Reader Asks the Wizard of Love for Pick-Up Lines
You can ask the Wizard anything... Full story

Strange Confessions: George Bush
Comic book cover by blorno... Full story

Comics We'd Like to See: No. 2 Swimming Accident
With apologies to 69 Chickweed Lane... Full story

First Amendment
Stupid Drawings from a stupid stupid man... Full story

Forget Soccer Moms, Bush Wants Viagra Dads

Nestle makes it easy

WASHINGTON, DC — The Bush campaign reportedly is preparing to air its first advertisement targeting the important Viagra dad demographic. The 45-second spot is said to open with a moon-lit shot of a White House bedroom window. In the background, a chorus of raucous masculine voices chant "Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush."

We cut to a White House sitting room, to a close-up of the First Lady, flushed by a happy afterglow. She replaces a strand of bangs that has come loose, goes back to sewing a patch on the busted-through zipper area of a flight suit. Dreamily she gazes out the window at the Washington Monument, in on which we zoom.

We cut from this suggestive monolith to a very large and upright missile. The President stands akimbo alongside it. He wears his trademark wry smile. The caption beneath the image reads: "George Bush: Hard On Terror."

We cut to another shot of the President, a large flagpole standing suggestively between him and the camera. He tips his head to one side so we can see his face. He flashes his trademark wry smile. The caption reads: "George Bush: Democracy's most outstanding member."

The camera rises up the flagpole, its slow ascent accentuating the pole's inordinate length. When we reach the flag, it fills the screen. Across the waving stars and stripes appear the words, "Bush and Dick 2004." The mob again takes to chanting "Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush."

Said Bush strategist, Mark Racicot, "Absent this whole Janet Jackson flap, the ad would also have featured a scene in which we drew a stark contrast between us and the democrats using an anatomically correct elephant and a donkey. I was also banking on the scene to help us snag the penis-enhancement dad demographic. I guess it's back to the drawing board."

Story by Larry Greer. Photo by Mike Pasternack


Read these related stories:

personal ad
of the week

Subscribe to Bongo News

bongo recommends

Subscribe to Bongo News

Copyright © 2001-2018 Bongo News, Inc. | Terms of service | Privacy policy | How to advertise | About us

The Web's Wittiest News Satire

RSS Feed