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www.bongonews.com APRIL 21, 2004 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
   
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Bob Woodward: "I'm Spending the Rest of My Life in Bush's Shorts"
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Genealogical Study Shows a Cheney Always Carried a Bush
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Karl Rove Regrets the "Mission Accomplished" Sign
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GOP Temporarily Loses Control of Attack Machine
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Rosie O'Donnell Keeps Showing Up at America's Big Moments; Does She Have Gump Syndrome?
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Optical Illusion
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Carl's Letters: Advice to Bush on Bob Woodward's Book
Letter from Carl Estrada to George Bush... Full story

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Strange Confessions: George Bush
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Comics We'd Like to See: No. 2 Swimming Accident
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First Amendment
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Forget Soccer Moms, Bush Wants Viagra Dads


nestle
Nestle makes it easy

WASHINGTON, DC — The Bush campaign reportedly is preparing to air its first advertisement targeting the important Viagra dad demographic. The 45-second spot is said to open with a moon-lit shot of a White House bedroom window. In the background, a chorus of raucous masculine voices chant "Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush."

We cut to a White House sitting room, to a close-up of the First Lady, flushed by a happy afterglow. She replaces a strand of bangs that has come loose, goes back to sewing a patch on the busted-through zipper area of a flight suit. Dreamily she gazes out the window at the Washington Monument, in on which we zoom.

We cut from this suggestive monolith to a very large and upright missile. The President stands akimbo alongside it. He wears his trademark wry smile. The caption beneath the image reads: "George Bush: Hard On Terror."

We cut to another shot of the President, a large flagpole standing suggestively between him and the camera. He tips his head to one side so we can see his face. He flashes his trademark wry smile. The caption reads: "George Bush: Democracy's most outstanding member."

The camera rises up the flagpole, its slow ascent accentuating the pole's inordinate length. When we reach the flag, it fills the screen. Across the waving stars and stripes appear the words, "Bush and Dick 2004." The mob again takes to chanting "Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush."

Said Bush strategist, Mark Racicot, "Absent this whole Janet Jackson flap, the ad would also have featured a scene in which we drew a stark contrast between us and the democrats using an anatomically correct elephant and a donkey. I was also banking on the scene to help us snag the penis-enhancement dad demographic. I guess it's back to the drawing board."

Story by Larry Greer. Photo by Mike Pasternack

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