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Forget Soccer Moms, Bush Wants Viagra Dads
Nestle makes it easy WASHINGTON, DC The Bush campaign reportedly is preparing to air its first advertisement targeting the important Viagra dad demographic. The 45-second spot is said to open with a moon-lit shot of a White House bedroom window. In the background, a chorus of raucous masculine voices chant "Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush."
We cut to a White House sitting room, to a close-up of the First Lady, flushed by a happy afterglow. She replaces a strand of bangs that has come loose, goes back to sewing a patch on the busted-through zipper area of a flight suit. Dreamily she gazes out the window at the Washington Monument, in on which we zoom.
We cut from this suggestive monolith to a very large and upright missile. The President stands akimbo alongside it. He wears his trademark wry smile. The caption beneath the image reads: "George Bush: Hard On Terror."
We cut to another shot of the President, a large flagpole standing suggestively between him and the camera. He tips his head to one side so we can see his face. He flashes his trademark wry smile. The caption reads: "George Bush: Democracy's most outstanding member."
The camera rises up the flagpole, its slow ascent accentuating the pole's inordinate length. When we reach the flag, it fills the screen. Across the waving stars and stripes appear the words, "Bush and Dick 2004." The mob again takes to chanting "Bush, Bush, Bush,
Said Bush strategist, Mark Racicot, "Absent this whole Janet Jackson flap, the ad would also have featured a scene in which we drew a stark contrast between us and the democrats using an anatomically correct elephant and a donkey. I was also banking on the scene to help us snag the penis-enhancement dad demographic. I guess it's back
to the drawing board."