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New Competition for Virgin Airlines: Slut Airlines




NEW YORK — A new airline has entered the highly competitive travel industry this week. Super Luxury Utopian Transport or SLUT airlines as it's referred to in the company brochures, says it is offering a unique service to the weary traveler.

Airline spokesman, Chester Gropenfeel, says the fledgling airline will be offering many amenities that the other airlines do not offer.

"Take check-in for example," said Gropenfeel. "Instead of all those impersonal x-ray machines and waving wands, all our customers will be personally hand searched by a bevy of beautiful models, and all our seats transform into private beds where our world class beautiful stewardesses will be offering memberships in our special "Mile High Club'."

Gropenfeel also said that the airline will be very competitive in pricing. "We've been able to keep costs down by doing away with what we call in the airline business "frills and extras', things like maintenance and a bunch of fancy doodads up front like radar and such."

Gropenfeel concluded by reciting the company motto "Why fly a Virgin when you can take a ride on a Slut."

Mike Pasternack
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