BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. SEPTEMBER 8, 2004 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Miss Universe Has a Wardrobe Malfunction

SYDNEY, Australia — Miss Universe, Jennifer Hawkins, had what was described as a "Wardrobe Malfunction" at a fashion show in a mall in Sydney, Australia Friday and was immediately booked by the NFL to appear in the half time show in this year's Super Bowl.

Crawford "Bucky' Leeransnort, chairman for the entertainment committee for the show said "Who needs Janet Jackson when we can really look at some prime bootie. This will up the ratings through the gosh darn roof!"

Miss Hawkins was taken aback by all the sudden interest in her appearance and "claimed" it was all an accident.

"I just sort of stepped on the hem of the dress and the next thing I know I'm getting the best ovation I've ever gotten. If the committee wants me to appear, I'm going to have to perfect that step."

Leeransnort said, "We were thinking of having Courtney Love do the show this year, but this beats her all hollow. We'll be broadcasting this to our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan and this should boost morale there quite a bit. Even if a gal over there should step on a burka all you'll see is a head nod."

Janet Jackson was not immediately available for comment but her agent, Leroy Grabdough, said, "We're looking into whether we could get a patent on the maneuver as we obviously came up with it first. The committee will be hearing from our lawyers."

Mike Pasternack

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