Separated at Birth: Francoise Sagan and Rod Stewart ... Full story
Comics We'd Like to See: Chickweed Men's Fly Trick ... Full story
Your Life is Futile Stupid Drawings from a stupid stupid man... Full story
Cat Stevens is a Muslim Terrorist; Proves "Hollywood is Un-American," Says Bush
BANGOR, Maine The artist formerly known as Cat Stevens was denied entry to the United States and deported because of his alleged funding of Muslim charities which in turn funded terrorists, US officials said.
The London-born singer, who was born Stephen Georgiou (what king of a name is that???) and who changed his name to Yusuf Islam, was on a Dulles-bound plane which was forced to land in Bangor, Maine. He was taken from the plane and later placed on a plane back to London.
"The whole thing is totally ridiculous," Stevens said on arrival at Heathrow airport. "Half of me wants to smile, and half of me wants to wrap explosives around my waist, hop and a crowded bus and show the world that Morning Has Broken."
"Baby, baby it's a Wild World,' he said. "Now that I'm on the "no-fly' list I'll take trains in future. In fact, I could blow one up as a Peace Train demonstration!"
President Bush, on the campaign trail, immediately linked Cat Stevens' arrest to the Whoopi Goldberg fundraiser for John Kerry. "This proves that Hollywood types are un-American, and that John Kerry is French."
Story by Arnold Schwarz'n'nigger. Photo by Mike Pasternack.