BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. SEPTEMBER 29, 2004 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Election "To-Do" Lists for Bush and Kerry
... Full story

'Coffee' Annan Says Iraq War is Illegal, Wants to Resume Oil-for-Food Scam
... Full story

Bush Addresses UN: "Up Yours!"
... Full story

Twinkies Maker Files for Bankruptcy, Michael Moore Placed on Suicide Watch
... Full story

Cat Stevens is a Muslim Terrorist; Proves "Hollywood is Un-American," Says Bush
... Full story

Suicide Bombers Sing a Cat Stevens' Song
... Full story

CBS Sucks Up to Bush Administration After Rathergate
... Full story

Paul Hamm Found Guilty of Theft of Gold Medal
... Full story

Jimmy Swaggart Apologizes for Remark About Killing Gay Men
... Full story

Fidel Castro Replaces Martha Stewart on Cuban TV
... Full story

Jessica Simpson Looks for an Agent
... Full story

Separated at Birth: Francoise Sagan and Rod Stewart
... Full story

Comics We'd Like to See: Chickweed Men's Fly Trick
... Full story

Your Life is Futile
Stupid Drawings from a stupid stupid man... Full story

Cat Stevens is a Muslim Terrorist; Proves "Hollywood is Un-American," Says Bush

BANGOR, Maine — The artist formerly known as Cat Stevens was denied entry to the United States and deported because of his alleged funding of Muslim charities which in turn funded terrorists, US officials said.

The London-born singer, who was born Stephen Georgiou (what king of a name is that???) and who changed his name to Yusuf Islam, was on a Dulles-bound plane which was forced to land in Bangor, Maine. He was taken from the plane and later placed on a plane back to London.

"The whole thing is totally ridiculous," Stevens said on arrival at Heathrow airport. "Half of me wants to smile, and half of me wants to wrap explosives around my waist, hop and a crowded bus and show the world that Morning Has Broken."

"Baby, baby it's a Wild World,' he said. "Now that I'm on the "no-fly' list I'll take trains in future. In fact, I could blow one up as a Peace Train demonstration!"

President Bush, on the campaign trail, immediately linked Cat Stevens' arrest to the Whoopi Goldberg fundraiser for John Kerry. "This proves that Hollywood types are un-American, and that John Kerry is French."

Story by Arnold Schwarz'n'nigger. Photo by Mike Pasternack.

Read these related stories:

Lone Conservative Celebrity Holds a Concert Rant for Bush (14-Jul-04)

Hollywood Producers Deny That TV Shows Have Anti-Bush Messages (7-Apr-04)

Mel Gibson to Remake "Fiddler on the Roof" with a Catholic Theme (3-Mar-04)

Christian Heavy Metal Band, P.O.D., Denies it was in 'The Matrix Reloaded' (7-Jan-04)

Austin Powers is Forced to Let Go of His "Goldmember" (6-Feb-02)

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