BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. OCTOBER 27, 2004 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Kerry Streaks Bush
... Full story

Bush Baby
... Full story

Hilary Duff Goes Slutty
... Full story

Letter to the Editor: If it Wasn't for France, Americans Would be Speaking English!
... Full story

Kerry and Cheney to Wed after Election, Adopt a Lesbian, Hunt Ducks
... Full story

We Unreservedly Apologize to President Bush
... Full story

Chris Matthews Interviews Pat Robertson
... Full story

With This Ring, I Thee Wed
... Full story

The Queen Takes a Peek
... Full story

Tender Romance : Hillary Clinton
Comic book cover by blorno... Full story

Comics We'd Like to See:F*ck me if I'm wrong but....
With apologies to 9 Chickweed Lane... Full story

Busted Noggin
Stupid Drawings from a stupid stupid man... Full story

Kerry Says Bush Can't Walk and Chew Gum at the Same Time


NEW YORK — John Kerry accused President Bush of being unable to do two things at once. "You can't say you're just going to focus on the war on terror and ignore the economy," said Kerry. "If I am elected as your President, I'll focus on my job as well as on spending Teresa's money!"

"Of course I know how to do two things at once," responded Bush, grimacing petulantly. "Heck, I gave the order to invade Iraq while playing golf!"

"Bush is planning a January surprise," countered Kerry, as his nose began to grow." He'll eliminate Social Security and Medicare, bring back the draft, restart the Vietnam war, put Rush Limbaugh on the Supreme Court, audit my tax return, and deport Teresa!"

"I have a plan for everything," said Kerry. "I even have plans to make plans."

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