BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. DECEMBER 8, 2004 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Bush Contracts Mad Cow Disease in Canada
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NY Police Chief to Be US Homeland Security Czar, Will Put Turnstiles at Airports
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Kofi Annan Declares Self-Defense Illegal; France Agrees, Germany Begins Plans

Kofi Annan
Kofi Annan

NEW YORK — In a broadside directed at the US-led war in Iraq, UN Secretary General Kofi Annan declared armed force used in self-defense to be against international law. Nations, rather, should follow the doctrine of non-violent resistance in pursuit of national security.

"Imagine no need for armaments. No conscription, too," declared Annan in an address to the UN General Assembly. "Imagine all the nation-states of the world following the teachings of such philosophers as Thoreau, Gandhi and the actor Martin Sheen."

Annan levied harsh and thinly-veiled criticism towards the United States.

"Those who arrogantly pursue self-preservation at the expense of those who bravely shirk the yoke of so-called "˜military preparedness' shall soon find themselves on the wrong side of history."

Annan's speech was well received and interrupted by applause numerous times, most notably from the French delegation, a reaction noted by the nearby German contingent.

Woody Latham

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