Bongo News' Woman of the Year for 2004 is Paris Hilton
Excerpt from her barnyard sex video: a cow nuzzles Paris Hilton Ten reasons why Paris Hilton is Bongo News Woman of the Year:
1. Her internet sex video!
2. Taught us that, yes, reality television can get worse. Much, much worse!
3. Reached out to red states during a crucial election year with her show,
The Simple Life, which led her to rural America in search for key
Kerry voters. She then did Toby Keith.
4. Because of her poor night vision, she once blew a fuse, followed by
giving it the best screwing of its life.
5. She's not just a gourmet cook in the kitchen and a slut in the bedroom,
she's also a slut in the kitchen.
6. She once did it in the chimney with Santa.
7. No, she's never won an Oscar, but an Oscar once won her in a card game.
8. She does one-night stands because she was never good at math.
9. Likes watching A & E because she knows those letters.
10. She rewinds after every video!
Ten reasons why Pamela Anderson might have been Bongo News Woman of the Year:
We could only think of two.