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www.bongonews.com JANUARY 12, 2005 Copyright © 2001-2014 Bongo News, Inc.
   
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Aishwarya Rai, the Most Beautiful Woman in the World
Indian film stay makes US debut... Full story

Brad Pitt Leaves Jennifer Aniston, Moves in With Colin Farrell
... Full story

CNN Takes Jon Stewart's Advice and Cancels "Crossfire'
The Daily Show host becomes the news... Full story

Bush Diary - Paying Stretch Armstrong: Barbara Boxer Body Blow
... Full story

Bill Clinton Diary - Still Alive; Visiting Starbucks
... Full story

Bush Was Reading "My Pet Goat' When Tsunami News was Given to Him
... Full story

Rehnquist to Swear in Al Gore as President
... Full story

Lindsay Lohan: "My Tits Are Real!"
... Full story

Checking Baby's Diaper: The Right and the Wrong Way
... Full story

Anna Kournikova Checks Her Equipment
... Full story

Popular Teenagers Secrets of Love: Reese Witherspoon
Comic book cover by blorno... Full story

Comics We'd Like to See: BC Dildo
With apologies to BC... Full story

Finally, I'm My Own Man!
Stupid Drawings from a stupid stupid man... Full story

Separated at Birth: Alberto Gonzales and Señor Wences' Dummy


alberto senor

WASHINGTON, DC — President Bush has nominated Alberto Gonzales to be the new Attorney General, but rumors persist that Bush has simply taken a page out of a 1960's ventriloquist's bag of tricks. Gonzales strongly resembles Pedro, the head in the box used by Señor Wences. According to Señor Wences, the head was the product of a "lucky train accident."

Observers on both sides of the aisle were struck by the consistent, almost lockstep exchange between Bush and Gonzales when discussing the law enforcement agenda of the Tex-Mex nominee:

Bush: S'OK?
Gonzales: S'awright.
Bush: S'OK?
Gonzales: S'awright.

The President has also been quick to add that Gonzales "has great experience in the area of Geneva Convention torture violations, particularly in the area of beheadings."

During frequent appearances on the Ed Sullivan Show in the 1960's, Señor Wences would often throw in a few Spanish words. President Bush, now oddly favoring the new nickname "Señor Bush," vows to create a bridge to the Latino community with clever Spanish language parlance to Gonzales.

"Tu estas my little Hispanic vote getting friend," said the President.

"S'awright," said Gonzales.

Van Gross, MD
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Read these related stories:

Mexican Construction Worker Survives Six Nails in His Head, Now Speaks English Without an Accent (12-May-04)

My Nazi Photo Gallery, by George Bush (7-Jul-04)

Bush Sends Soldiers Into Langley to Retake CIA Headquarters (1-Dec-04)

MRI Scans Reveal Republicans and Democrats Have Different Brains (28-Apr-04)

Illegal Immigrants Leaving US, Looking For US Jobs in Their Home Countries (31-Mar-04)

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