BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. JANUARY 26, 2005 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Johnny Carson to Continue Writing for David Letterman


LOS ANGELES — Deceased late night comic legend, Johnny Carson, will continue writing jokes for David Letterman, according to a Letterman spokesman.

"They call these after-hour shows "Late Late Shows.' Well Johnny will simply be considered a late, late night comedian," said the unidentified Late Night with David Letterman Show spokesman.

Asked about the continuation of his writing for Letterman, Carson muttered quietly from his tomb, "I did not know that."

Carnac will also make guest appearances on Letterman. This will require the Letterman set moving to the Las Vegas Luxor Pyramid which has now been converted into the Carson burial site. Apparently, the emphysema-stricken former Tonight Show host has come up with some Carnac jokes already:

Carnac: The envelope please. A red man, a bed man and a dead man.
Ed McMahon: The question sire is?
Carnac: What's another name for Conan O'Brien lying on a Serta Perfect Sleeper in Fallujah?
Carnac: The envelope please. Famous phrases from the sidekick and host of the Tonight Show
McMahon: Famous phrases.....
Carnac: I said that, oh intoxicated one. The answer is: 'You may already have won 10 million dollars and " [gurgle, gurgle] " I'm choking on my own mucus."

It was also revealed that Carson has agreed to write jokes for Jay Leno, who took over the Tonight Show after Carson's retirement.

"I did not know that," said Johnny in the midst of an embalming and mummy wrapping treatment.

Van Gross, MD

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