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Prince Charles to Marry Porker Bowles, Prince Edward to Marry Elton John
LONDON — Buckingham Palace has announced that the heir to the British throne, Prince Charles, is to marry his long-time mistress, Camilla Porker Bowles. The nutty Prince and the horsy Porker will have a private ceremony at Windsor Castle, followed by Camilla coaxing Charles into consummating the union with dirty mobile phone talk of tampons.
"Gone are the days when the King had to abdicate to marry someone unsuitable, like an American," said a Palace spokesman. "Now, Heaven knows, anything goes."
While the British public is distracted by the long-feared announcement of the disgusting nuptials, the Palace sought to slip by some other wedding announcements for other Royals. Princes Andrew and Edward will marry Prince Albert of Monaco and Elton John, respectively, while Princess Anne will marry her long-time horse and release a barnyard sex video.
To soothe raw British feelings about Charles marrying Camilla, the Palace let it be known that Camilla would not assume the title of the late, much loved, Diana " Princess of Wales " but would instead be referred to as the Duchess of Cornwallis-Simpson. Nor, in the unfortunate event that Charles becomes King, would Camilla be called Queen. Instead, she would be referred to as Prince's Comfort Station, First Vagina, or Great Big Sack of Potatoes.
Richard Thornly-Banly-Throgmorton-Cholmondley- Smitherington-Smythe-Gawblimey-Jones, Esq.
H-P Board Fires CEO, Says Women are No Good at Technology
