BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes.
www.bongonews.com MARCH 30, 2005 Copyright © 2001-2014 Bongo News, Inc.
   
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Pat Robertson Made a Last Minute Offer to Donate His Brain to Terri Schiavo
... Full story

Terri Schiavo's Brother Was the "Fisherman" in the Elian Gonzalez Case
... Full story

Jeb Bush Offers to Adopt the Pope
... Full story

Teresa Heinz Drops "Kerry" Name; He's Next
... Full story

Gas Stations to Begin Taking Right Arms Instead of Money From Public
... Full story

Bush Diary - Easter Egg WMDs; Rummy Wants to Occupy Her Fallujah
... Full story

The Clintons Advise Larry Summers
... Full story

Separated at Birth: Laura Bush and Jack Nicholson as the Joker
... Full story

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!
Kittens can kill... Full story

Sneezing Fit
Sometimes a girl’s just got to let loose... Full story

All Top Comics: Catherine Zeta Jones
Comic book cover by blorno... Full story

Comics We'd Like to See: Willie "˜n the Orgasm
With apologies to Willy ‘n Ethel... Full story

Big Brother is Watching You
Stupid Drawings from a stupid stupid man... Full story

Michael Jackson: "My Gloves Fit, You Must Acquit"


michael jackson glove

LOS ANGELES — The defense in the Michael Jackson case has won a major point in proving that Jackson's fingerprints on a porn magazine he allegedly showed to young boys had been planted on the magazine. How could they tell? Because Jackson never takes off his gloves!

"I wear my gloves all the time," Jackson told Bongo News outside the courtroom. "I wear them to sleep, I play games in them, I write music in them, why I even molest little boys in them "¦ wait a minute, I mean I even wipe my ass with them."

Jackson's lawyers suspect that the fingerprints were planted by prosecutors who did not know about the pop star's glove fetish, including one who is stuck in "˜60's images of early rockers who did not wear gloves.

KDANTEATER
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Read these related stories:

Michael Jackson is Broke, Opens Theme Park (28-May-03)

Michael Jackson Undergoes Species Conversion, Becomes a Cow (25-Aug-04)

Michael Jackson is Fingered (30-Jun-04)

Lisa Marie Says She Actually Slept With Michael Jackson (9-Apr-03)

Michael Jackson Sings A Lullaby To His Baby (27-Nov-02)

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