BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. MAY 11, 2005 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Tom Cruise Explodes With Desire for Katie Holmes
... Full story

Britney Spears' Diary - Kevin Got Another Backup Singer Pregnant!
... Full story

Michael Jackson Feels a Little Prick
... Full story

Bush Diary - I Visit the Ball-Ticklers; I Drive RasPutin's Stupid Car
... Full story

Bush Senior Adopts Bill Clinton
... Full story

Jeb Bush Appointed "Country Roads,' the Secretary of Transportation
... Full story

Prince Harry Enters British Army, Invades France
... Full story

Apes Taught Speech Promise World Domination
... Full story

Separated at Birth: Pope Benedict and The Evil Emperor from Star Wars
... Full story

Cute Cat Photos
Don’t tell PETA... Full story

Did You Hear the One About the Dyslexic Agnostic With Insomnia?
A dyslexia joke by Laurie, plus more “Anagrams by Laurie”... Full story

The Gay Corinthian: Ben Affleck
Comic book cover by blorno... Full story

Comics We'd Like to See: The Wizard of Idiot
With apologies to The Wizard of Id... Full story

Ben Affleck Denies He is the Father of Jennifer Garner's Baby

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner
Ben Affleck can be a Daredevil

LOS ANGELES — Ben Affleck has denied that he is the father of the rumored baby of Alias star, Jennifer Garner. Sources close to Garner say the actress is three months along. News of the pregnancy comes just two weeks after several news reports claimed that she and Affleck were engaged.

Affleck's spokesman, Mr. Sunshine, has angrily denied the paternity, although he left open the possibility that they might be engaged.

"There is no way that this baby " if there is a baby " is Ben's," he said. "I mean, come on! Take it from me, Ben is not the kind of guy to go around impregnating women, although I must say that, if he were, Jennifer is someone he would definitely consider impregnating. She is one hot babe!"

Before they became a magazine couple, Affleck and Garner costarred in 2003's Daredevil. He played Daredevil and she played Elektra. They went public with their hot romance last fall by snuggling together on national TV at a World Series' game.

The never-wed Affleck was previously engaged to Jennifer Lopez. That relationship ended with the cancellation of their scheduled September 2003 wedding, with no accusations of paternity.

Julio Cesar

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