Demi Moore's Daughters Think That Ashton Kutcher is Gross
"My daughters are happy for me,"ť Demi Moore told the assembled press. "They understand Ashton and I are soul mates and share a love only God could create."ť
But Bongo News conducted some investigative journalism on this issue of national importance, and here is what we discovered:
"It's totally gross,"ť says eldest daughter Rumer, 17. "OK, first they go out dancing and Mom's all dressed up in a tight dress and her boobs are, like, looking totally like soccer balls, which is cool, but there's Ashton looking totally stupid in Lucky Jeans and a totally gay polyester shirt and he's like totally showing off his hairy belly button. Gag. Then they come home and get all naked in Mom's bedroom. They say they're watching TV. Yeah, whatever!"ť
Moore's youngest daughter, 11, has mixed feelings for her mom's young stud muffin.
"I guess he's OK. Sometimes he tries to help with my homework, but he gets confused and we end up asking Mom. Usually she tells me to try harder and tells Ashton to go mow the lawn."ť
Scout, the middle daughter at 14, is less enamored with Kutcher.
"He keeps stealing my Clearasil. I can't stand it."ť
Actor Bruce Willis stated recently that his only concern is the happiness of his ex-wife and children.
"First chance I get I'm ripping the head off that little punk and eating it,"ť said Willis.