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How Dare President Bush Still Exist When New Orleans Doesn't
... Full story

How's Bayou, Mr. President?
... Full story

Message to New Orleans' Neighboring Communities: "Adopt a Looter'
... Full story

Bush Diary - Jesus Fed the Multitude; Let Him Deliver the Food to New Oar-lands
... Full story

Bush Says He Hopes Troops Can Be Withdrawn From New Orleans by End of Year
... Full story

A Crisis Destined to Fade
... Full story

God: "I'm Not Big on Poor People, Got It?'
... Full story

Suge Knight Shot, Now a Favorite for This Year's Least Surprising Story Award
... Full story

Bush to Deploy Jewish Mothers to Afghanistan
... Full story

"When You Eat Another Polar Bear's Abdominal Cavity, You Don't Think About AIDS'
... Full story

Kit Carson: George Clooney
Comic book cover by blorno... Full story

Dorkus Gets High
Hugo Ballz comic strip... Full story

New Supreme Court Will Overturn Roe v. Wade and Expel Jews From America


supreme court nominees jewsexpelled

WASHINGTON, DC — With the death of Chief Justice, William Rehnquist and the retirement of Sandra Day O-Connor, President Bush now has the opportunity name two Justices to the Supreme Court and tilt it to the extreme right for years to come, if not forever.

"It is payback time!" said Ralph Whiteman of the Religious Right or Wrong Movement. "This is why we elected Bush. Let's overrule Roe v. Wade!"

Meanwhile, Jews in New York, Chicago and Los Angeles are fearful that the Christian Right will not stop at creating unwanted babies but will also expel Jews from America.

"It is true that the Republicans and the Religious Right have been our strongest ally in the US on Israel, " said Moshe Moses of the American Society for Being Really Nice to Jews Although We Aren't Very Nice to Non-Jews. "But just look at what Christians did to Jews in Europe centuries ago and in Nazi Germany last century."

Whiteman confirmed that creation of unwanted babies and expulsion of Jews were the primary objectives of the Religious Right.

"Support for Israel against Muslim extremists was just a cover," said Whiteman. "So was the Boston Tea Party. We are really still very close to European sentiment of around 1290."

Emma Dubin
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Read these related stories:

Shakira to Replace Sandra Day O'Connor on Supreme Court (6-Jul-05)

John Roberts Found to be a Mannequin (27-Jul-05)

Victoria's Secret Case Against Victor's Little Secret is a Big Bust (12-Mar-03)

Jew Apologizes for Killing Christ (31-Mar-04)

Hillary Discovers She is a Born-Again Christian (10-Nov-04)




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