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Nicole Kidman Says Tom Cruise’s Pregnancy is Emission Impossible
LOS ANGELES — Nicole Kidman has come out swinging against her former husband, accusing him of unfairly impregnating his girlfriend, Katie Holmes, when he failed to do so after 10 years of marriage with her.
“How come I had to adopt two freakin’ kids?” said Nicole in her Aussie accent. “How come he never showed me his cruise missile?”
Meanwhile, officials from the Church of Scientology have revealed that it is not Katie Holmes who is pregnant. It is Tom!
“We believe in virgin birth,” said L. Ron Hubbard, who is still very much alive on the Scientology website. “And Tom is a virgin.”
Bird Flu Terror Alert Raised to ‘Gobble, Gobble’
