BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. OCTOBER 26, 2005 Copyright © 2001-2018 Bongo News, Inc.
» back issues

» search site

personal ad
of the week

best of
bongo news

sponsored links

Red Cross Uses Katrina Money for a Hostile Takeover of the Salvation Army
... Full story

Like the Fat Lady Said, "˜It Ain't Over Til it's Rover.'
... Full story

Bush Diary - Why is Steven Coldbear Trusted More Than Bill O'Really?
... Full story

Tom Delay's Mugshot
... Full story

ZZ Top Cuts Wind at Hurricane Headquarters
... Full story

After Wilma, Hurricane Fred Flintstone Will Turn Planet into Barney Rubble
... Full story

A. Jolie Good Fellow
Angelina Jolie is jolly good... Full story

Tom Delay = To My Deal
More anagrams by Laurie... Full story

Saddam Nice to See You
... Full story

Recipes of the World: Sicilian Funeral Dinner
Join our world tour of culinary delights... Full story

The Wrath of the Spectre: Karl Rove
Comic book cover by blorno... Full story

Hugo Ballz: Secret Identity
Hugo Ballz comic strip... Full story

NASA Forms Partnership with Google, Hoping to Find Porn On Mars

google nasa Google

SAN FRANCISCO — Google and NASA have announced that they are planning a partnership. NASA will help Google by allowing the Mountain View, California based Internet giant to avoid property taxes by building on government land owned by NASA. Google, on the other hand, will help NASA find porn on Mars.

"Even if there's no water, there's porn, for sure," said Elizabeth Kuchta, a Google spokeswoman. "If we've learned anything running the world's most all-encompassing search engine, that's it. I mean, if we found porn, and water, that'd be great "¦ I guess a hot tub scene would accomplish that. But I'm not holding my breath."

NASA has been frustrated in recent years, spending millions of dollars on the Mars rover, from which returns have been inconsistent at best. The agency came upon the conclusion that a new search tactic was needed, and that it might be right under their noses.

"We figured, we weren't able to find anything of consequence up there yet, and it was getting old, quick," said Jared Sawin, NASA scientist from the Ames Research Center near San Francisco. "We were talking around the office once after two days awake, just fed up with the whole space thing, and one guy was like, 'Man, I wish we could just Google Mars.' We laughed, and then it got real quiet. I called the Google people right away."

At this point, NASA is less concerned with finding anything relevant to people's lives here on Earth than they are with just finding anything.

Said Kuchta, "Google is the number one search engine in the world in terms of the quantity of what we find. It might be true that it's rarely relevant, and 40% porn, but whenever we go looking for something, we always find a whole lot of stuff."

Right now, 40% porn is looking pretty good to NASA.

Kevin McCaffrey and Jaimie Hughes. Kevin and Jaimie are freelance monologue writers for The Late Show with David Letterman.

Read these related stories:

Subscribe to Bongo News

bongo recommends

bongo news

Subscribe to Bongo News

Copyright © 2001-2018 Bongo News, Inc. | Terms of service | Privacy policy | How to advertise | About us

The Web's Wittiest News Satire

RSS Feed