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Bush Elected President of Mexico
MEXICO CITY When all the absentee ballots were in and counted in last week's Mexican Presidential elections, neither Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador, professed lefty and former mayor of Mexico City, nor ruling party candidate Felipe "El Raton"Ě Calderon could claim victory.
"It appears that the 145 million Mexican citizens living in Florida and Texas have won the day and made Mr. Bush the next Presidente de Mexico,"Ě said smiling Mexican election official Mr. Jorges "Pepito"Ě Garcia.
"Sink-oh-dey-my big white Texas butt,"Ě shouted the double President at an East Room Victory celebration. "It's cinco de Busho ownmah calendrio,"Ě he slurred.
It is widely believed that the President will dissolve the U.S. Mexican border altogether, and will introduce legislation lowering the minimum wage to $0.06 by week's end.
"Stick that inyahls pipen smokket"Ēya bunch'o frigin' demo "¶ demo "¶ demo-rats!"Ě the President/e reeled.
When informed that there were no "ėdemocrats' running in the Mexican election, he passed out for consultation but is expected to return to consciousness for the pending Cuban primaries.