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Castro's Colon Causes Havoc in Havana, Mayhem in Miami


castroscolon
Cubans take to the streets in support of Castro’s colon

HAVANA — The mere suggestion that Castro's colon might finally put an end to his long regime sent thousands of celebrants running into the streets of Havana and tens of thousands into the streets of Little Havana in Miami, Florida.

The abrupt and unprecedented openness with which the aging Cuban strongman suddenly announced that he would temporarily hand all political power over to his younger brother, Raul, has led many to speculate that he may not return to power at all.

They were all wrong of course.

"Let a thousand large intestines bleed!" says Cuban security chief, General Eduardo Degradario, as he rounded up suspects and took the names and photographs of thousands of participants in anti-Castro celebrations across Cuba. "Hey you, Pico " you may be in Miami " but I saw you on CNN. I know where your grandma lives!" he ranted at the television cameras.

With the outpouring of sincerest "get well' messages from fellow travelers all over Central and South America, Cuban officials felt the need to show all imperialist nations that el Presidente is in good health, and could come up with no better method than to stage a "Pro-Castro's Colon Rally."

"The world should know that the seat of Cuban power is healthy and secure," remarked Degradario.

Sim Namore
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Read these related stories:

Fidel Castro Replaces Martha Stewart on Cuban TV (29-Sep-04)

Entire Cuban Population Turns to Baseball to Get a Ticket to the U.S. (22-Mar-06)

Citing WMD, Castro Invades U.S. to Topple the Dictator and his Theocracy (4-Jan-06)

Cuba Shocker: Oliver Stone Shoots Fidel Castro (27-Feb-02)




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