BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. AUGUST 2, 2006 Copyright © 2001-2018 Bongo News, Inc.
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Mel Gibson Plans Film on Hitler's Youth, Israel Attacks Malibu

I am Mel Gibson and I am willing to negotiate

MALIBU — Many will remember Mel Gibson as the Road Warrior. Others will remember him as the odd and awkward Australian Hamlet, or perhaps as the tartaned terror of the highlands or as a one-man American Revolution. Others will always think of Gibson as a strange, blood-soaked, Australian Jesus.

Gibson may be developing an apocalyptic obsession and his newest, Apocalypto, will suggest as much, but his announcement to portray Adolph Hitler's father is his latest self-financed and self-promoting film extravaganza, Little Adolph: The Tender Years, the first of a projected cinemagraphic trilogy on the "controversial and universally misunderstood" figure, places Gibson beyond the pale.

It is widely rumored that Gibson is seeking the skills of novice actor but known quantity, Harry the Prince of Wales, to play the youthful Fuhrer. "Hey, I've been in line for the throne and it's frigin' maddening,' it is," reports Gibson, who recently threatened to pee on the floor of a local drunk tank. "Besides we know that Harry already has all the costumes."

Soon after this announcement, Missile attacks from Israeli gunboats began falling on the exclusive California beach community of Malibu with most of the warheads striking on or near the large and heavily-fortified Gibson family estate where resides the brains of the Gibson anti-Zionist propagandist machine, Mel's father, Hutton.

The 87-year-old and life-long ultra-rightist-Catholic-crackpot, who force-fed his family his odd religious-political agenda and rejects the legitimacy of all modern Popes, went so far as to relocate his family to Australia to avoid his sons' induction into the U.S. Army during the Vietnam War. Famous for his Fuhrer-like ranting " the obligatory and ho-hum denial of the holocaust among them " Hutton has also made numerous other anti-Semitic statements and blames the September 11 attacks on Israeli double-agents in league with American Protestants.

"No, I do not believe that Israel's response to Gibson's known anti-Semitism is disproportional to his horrific crimes," said Israeli Prime Minister, Ehud Olmert, but I'm sorry to learn of the collateral damage." This, in reference to the annihilation of a local luxury kennel struck during the night attack and killing a number of Afghan hounds, Telomians, Bichon-A-Ranians and Labernese as well as completely ruining over two-thousand pounds of prime rib.

Sim Namore

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