BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. AUGUST 2, 2006 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Hezbollah Steals Australian Technology, Starts Hurling Boomerangs

Hezbullah warrior boomeranged while leading the Southern Lebanon Boomerang Strike Force

BEIRUT — Stopping at nothing, adding up to zero and fighting "until every one of us is with the 21 virgins," Hezbullah forces proudly launched their latest weaponry from bunkers they've been working on since Israel graciously left Lebanon in 2000. From vantage points six feet under, these brave Jew-despising murderers launched 1,100 boomerang rockets at Northern Israel today in what many are calling a chance to cut back dramatically on their own biological viability.

"Kablooey," announced a Hezbullah hero as the Australian-derived missile returned to blow the launcher's head off. "That'll be another piece of my cerebral cortex on the Barbie," proclaimed Abdul Al-Vapor Rub seconds before shrimp like portions of his frontal lobe landed on a Shish-ka-bob stake in the decimated Lebanese village of Bint Jbail.

"Looks like that Boomerang plan is working great," echoed General Al Gravy Train Al-Lamb Chop. "This attack on Haifa should have us all grooving with Olivia Newton John look-alikes in Nirvanah in no time flat."

"Incinerate me down under mate," added Corporal Wooly Bully Bullah Al-Shiite. "Shoot that boomerang over towards that Israeli city so it'll come back to me and turn me into a mass of Jew Hater Under Glass buried beneath a mound of dirt and shattered Lebanese windows!"

Van Gross, MD

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