BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. DECEMBER 20, 2006 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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British Police Trace Plutonium to Putin, But He Says They Are Playing Politics


LONDON — British police investigators have been able to follow the trail of Plutonium 210, the poison used to kill former Soviet spy and Putin critic, Alexander Litvinenko.

Police have been able to trace the plutonium from a sushi bar to a London hotel to a plane flight from Russia, and then to a house in Moscow, to KGB headquarters, to the Kremlin and to Vladimir Putin's hand. Police have also uncovered handwritten note by Putin, saying, "Kill Litvinenko."

Russian officials casually dismissed the latest forensic breakthroughs by British police.

"People are using the telltale radioactive path that Plutonium leaves as a means of playing politics," said one official. "Our own investigation has reached a different conclusion.

"The perpetrators were Chechens who are trying to discredit the Russian President. We are not sure how they stole our plutonium, but we're working on it."

Julio Cesar

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