BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. JANUARY 31, 2007 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Scientists Cure Gay Sheep - PETA and Gays Outraged
... Full story

White House Pleased That Bush's Un-Approval Rating is Soaring
... Full story

Bush Proposes Health Care for the Rich and the Richer
... Full story

World's Oldest Person Dies, Then the Next One and the Next; What's Going On?
... Full story

Sacha Baron Cohen Found to be Lanky Sexualizer
... Full story

Immaculate Conception for Monkeys? New Chimp to be Named Jesus H. Chimp
... Full story

Barbaro to Run for President
"It's a horse race" said the animal on his death bed... Full story

Saddam's Cat
... Full story

Money Back Offer
... Full story

Bad Signs " Taco Bell
... Full story

Romanian Humor: Saddam Returns
By Mihai Matei... Full story

The Adventures of Buck Rogers: Elisa Cuthbert
Comic book cover by blorno... Full story

Hugo Ballz: Table and Ottomon
Hugo Ballz comic strip... Full story

Democrats Say Stop the Genocide in Darfur, But Let it Happen in Iraq


WASHINGTON, DC — The Democratic Party, which talks piously about the need for the U.S. to intervene to end the bloodshed in Darfur between tribal militias, is apparently prepared to let genocide occur in Iraq between Sunni and Shia. So we asked Bush-bating Senator Jim Webb (Bush: "How's your boy?" Webb: "That's between me and my boy.") how he could reconcile these two positions.

"That's between me and my pollster," he replied.

Hillary Clinton has urged that Bush send more troops to Afghanistan, but fewer troops to Iraq. "I was always against the war in Iraq," she said this week. "I didn't really mean it when I voted for it. My campaign video will make that perfectly clear."

John Kerry has urged Bush to send more troops to Haiti and to withdraw troops from Iraq. "I did not cut the throat of an old man in Vietnam," he said. "Those Swift Boat people are lying hounds! My knife did it."

Nancy Pelosi is planning a non-binding resolution in the House, calling on Bush to withdraw troops from Iraq. "After my fact funding trip to Iraq, I think we should make the resolution non-binding," she said. "If our advice turned out to be wrong, we would hate to have to take responsibility for it!"

Emma Dubin

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