BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. MAY 23, 2007 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Bush and Blair Declare Endless Love
... Full story

Former Bush Family Pet Announces Presidential Run
... Full story

World Bank Goes Back to Normal, Eradicates Poverty ... of its Mandarins
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Clinton Camp Smears Obama, Declares Their Positions Identical
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Hillary Says She Believes in Withdrawal
... Full story

Did Falwell Get It In the End?
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Gingrich Separates Church and Reason
... Full story

Sweet Law Suit: Equal Sues Splenda
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Bush Pushed on Tush by Homer
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Best and Worst
By Blorno... Full story

Double Entendre Comics: Archie Beating Off
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Hugo Ballz: When a Hero Comes Along
Hugo Ballz comic strip... Full story

Fox News Alert: Gonzales Says He is Not Guilty, Case Closed


After the conviction of Vice President Cheney's aide, Scooter Libby, and the resignation of Deputy Attorney General, Paul J. McNulty, many in the media have accused the Bush Administration of forcing underlings to take the wrap for crimes that they did not commit. Now the so-called journalists at NBC and other bias news organizations do not know what they are talking about and should be silenced, blacklisted, tortured and burned at the stake live on Hannity & Colmes.

We are fair and the stake is balanced.

Attorney General, Alberto Gonzales, or as President Bush has humorously nicknamed him, AG-AG, had better put this ordeal behind him. And if you expect him to apologize, you have another think coming. The only thing he has to apologize for is for not using torture against those activist judges. And, besides, he is not going to apologize for something that he did not do. The next thing you know people will be demanding that Vice President Cheney apologize for shooting that guy in the face! Gonzales used intimidation to pass the blame along like a hot potato, saying, "You have such a really nice Constitution, there. It would be a real shame if something unfortunate were to happen to it."

Now some might assume that the Attorney General was behind wrong-doing, but those who accuse him or wrong-doing are the wrong-doers. They are with the terrorists. The fact of the matter is that the politically motivated firings are the fault of the Democrats. That's right: without Congressional oversight there wouldn't have been any firings at all, at least not any public knowledge of them. How dare the Democrats hold the Administration official's feet to the fire.

To be frankly honest, we were more comfortable having a Republican-controlled Congress. They gave him a rubber stamp, a carefully selected team of his dorm friends and drinking buddies, and a teleprompter and let him decide whatever he wanted to. Why should I be suspicious when the Administration is justified under the law to spy on me and my friends without Congressional approval? For all we know our friends could be double agents working for Al-Qaeda. You can never be too careful, which is why we detained them until further notice.

Again, the Democratic Congress is getting in the way of the rapture. Any day now, the 28% of Americans who believe that President Bush holds the moral compass to guide our nation to Heaven will be rewarded for their faith-based beliefs. Reverend Jerry Fallwell's death is overwhelming proof that the rapture is well on its way. He led the charge for salvation in life and now he is leading the charge for the rapture in death. Jerry just has to give the go ahead to Jesus and your streets will be flowing with lava and hell stone. Take that, San Francisco!


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