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DECEMBER 11, 2002

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The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Sucks
See Jack Palethorpe's sneak preview in our Movie Reviews section...

Saddam Has Gas
UN inspectors made a surprising discovery in raiding one of his palaces... Full story

Bono And O'Neill Switch Jobs
Bono becomes Treasury Secretary, O'Neill an Irish rock star... Full story

TiVo Knows You're Gay
Could Big Brother be watching?... Full story

Bloomberg Has A Plan To Deal With Threatened New York Mass Transit Strike
"I'll hop on my private jet and fly to Bermuda."...

Aliens Are Upset By Disney's Treasure Planet
Residents of the real Treasure Planet in outer space are mad as hell... Full story

Tom Ridge Issues A Security Warning About San Diego Chargers Fans
... Full story

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Two Thumbs Up
See Darth Aeroplane's review in our Movie Reviews section...

Cartoon: Bono and O'Neill
... Full story

Political Cartoon: Declarations
... Full story

Dick Cheney Reappears In Public

WASHINGTON, DC — Dick Cheney was seen in public for the first time in a year, when he appeared at the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts, for the annual Kennedy Center Honors.

He was accompanied by his wife, Lynne, who wore a green silk outfit. The woman seated next to Cheney and his wife reacted visibly to the stench. "He's been dead for a year," she exclaimed.

Read these related stories:

Cheney Look-a-Like Meets with Egyptian President on his Middle Eastern Tour (20-Mar-02)

White House Backs Cloning of Cheney (28-Nov-01)

Society Column (19-Dec-01)

Bono is Sworn in as Vice President of the United States (20-Mar-02)

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