BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. FEBRUARY 11, 2004 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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The Adventures of Abdul and Hasim. Chapter 10: Trumped Again

abdulhasim header

By Mike Pasternack
The story so far:
Okay, so the boys were given explicit orders from Uncle to go to Washington, DC by bus and scope out sites to terrorize. As usual they f**ked up and got on the wrong bus and ended up with on a Senior Citizen Junket to Atlantic City. We join them as they hit town.
Older gent: Well, here we are, the beautiful Sunset Inn. Are you kids going to be joining us?
Hasim: No, we will be making other arraignments from here
Bambi: I need to use the bathroom!
Trixie: Me too.
Hasim: Ok. I'm sure there's one inside. I need to use a phone anyway.
Abdul: (whispering) Who are you going to call? Surely not Uncle!
Hasim: No! Are you crazy! I'm calling Rudi. I saw signs for Trump hotels all the way here. He should be able to help us get rooms.

The group enters the Sunset Inn (rooms available for as little as $29 a night) and while the girls use the facilities Hasim gets Rudi on the phone and tells him of their plight. Rudi to the rescue! No problem he tells them. As luck would have it his brother Arni is the bell captain at Trump's Taj Mahal Casino on the Boardwalk. All they have to do is grab a cab and Rudi will make all the arraignments.

Abdul: Well, what did he say!
Hasim: I swear to you Abdul, the man was sent to us from Allah!
Abdul: What do you mean? Tell me!
Hasim: Would you believe me if I told you that he has a brother that works in a hotel right here in town and we are already taken care of!
Abdul: He is truly something!
Trixie: What are you boys jumping up and down about! You look like you won the lottery!
Hasim: Good, your back, we are ready to go.
Bambi: Where are we going?
Hasim: We have reservations at the Trump Taj Mahal.
Trixie: Holy sh*t! You boys know how to live!
Bambi: Trixie honey, we're gonna need some new clothes.
Hasim: Look, let's just get a taxi and get over there.

They get their taxi, pile in and roll up to the beautiful Taj Mahal. Abdul's tongue is hanging from his mouth. Hasim has to place it back in. Porters take their bags. They approach the front desk.

Receptionist: Welcome to the Trump Taj Mahal, how my I help you?
Hasim: I think we have reservations. I'm Mr. Roma?
Receptionist: (glowingly now) Oh yes Mr. Roma, everything is all set. Just let me ring Arni and he'll be right down to see you to your rooms. We just connected everything to your New York account. Rudi said to take extra special care of you folks. Hasim: You know Rudi?
Receptionist: Everybody knows Rudy and Arni!
Abdul: I'm beginning to believe this is so!
Arni: Hello! You must be my brother Rudi's friends.
Hasim: You look like his twin!
Arni: People say that. Let's get you up to your suite.

They arrive at rooms that are so luxurious the girls squeal in delight and Abdul's tongue begins to fall out his mouth again. Hasim peels off a substantial wad of cash to Arni and is only to happy to do so. This is a virtual paradise. Only one problem still nags at him. He's in the wrong city. He must sleep on this problem.

Hasim: Thank you for everything Arni. And thank your brother too!
Arni: Think nothing of it, and good luck at the gabling tables tonight!
Abdul and Hasim: Gambling tables?

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