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Lucky Thanksgiving Turkey Receives a Presidential Pardon
WASHINGTON, DC — President Bush continued a White House tradition last week, performing a Rose Garden ceremony in which he pardoned a turkey for Thanksgiving. He then went inside the White House and ate another turkey.
Continuing another White House tradition, the pardoned turkey performed oral sex on the President.
These events raised issues reminiscent of the Clinton administration scandals involving Monica Lewinsky and Presidential pardons.
"I never had sexual relations with that turkey," said the President.
"There was no quid pro quo for the pardon," he added.
When asked why he would pardon one turkey in public and eat another one in private, the President said, "That turkey tasted good."
"It depends what the definition of "turkey" is," said a Presidential spokeswoman.
"This sort of thing went on around here all the time under the previous administration," said the female Presidential spokesperson. "It wasn't really sex, it was merely heavy petting."
Appropriately, the pardoned turkey was sent to a petting zoo.
Clinton redux? President Bush continues a White House tradition.
