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Robbery Suspects' Day Jobs? Security Guards at JFK Airport!
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Bush Bursts into Song During a White House Press Conference
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Bono is Sworn in as Vice President of the United States


bono vp
Bono and Bush stroll in the grounds of the White House.
WASHINGTON, DC — Bono was sworn in yesterday as Vice President of the United States. The surprise move followed an acknowledgment by the Administration that Dick Cheney died three months ago after suffering his 500th heart attack.

After the ceremony, while photographs were being taken, Bono tried to sneak up behind President Bush and put finger bunny ears behind the President's head. But the blind singer was unable to position himself correctly behind the President, and he wound up giving a Richard Nixon-like "V for Victory" sign instead.

When asked why he selected an Irish rock star as his Vice President, Bush replied, "He's a good man, if you overlook the fact that he's Irish and a rock star. And how profound is it to keep saying we should forgive third world debt." When asked what issues he would focus on as Veep, Bono said, "Third world debt."

The White House announced that Cheney was to be buried at an undisclosed location.
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Read these related stories:

Bush Stumbles Through Asian Trip With Gaffes Galore (27-Feb-02)

Paul O'Neill Tours Africa with Bono (5-Jun-02)

Cheney Look-a-Like Meets with Egyptian President on his Middle Eastern Tour (20-Mar-02)

What Are Those Irish Rock Stars Doing to Those Sheep? (17-Jul-02)

Bono Reveals That He is Also a Ventriloquist (1-May-02)

Bono Meets With Tom Daschle (6-Mar-02)



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