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Cheney's Outage Over Kerry Saying "Lesbian"
WASHINGTON, DC — Vice President Dick ("Y Chromosome") Cheney, vented continued "outage outrage" at John Kerry's "invasion of my family's privacy." Cheney was referring to the Kerry use of the word "lesbian" during the third Presidential debate to describe Cheney's daughter, Mary.
Cheney's rage spilled over into an inferno of wrath, as the "violated" Vice President spoke before the United Nations to lambaste Kerry for the "illegal, immoral and hideous mention of his daughter as a lesbian." Screaming in 7 languages in succession during a TV address broadcast globally, Cheney shouted for some 16 hours before the General Assembly. His theme was singular: "John Kerry should be hanged in a public square with the letters RPL (Revealing Private Lesbianism) singed on his chest."
"John Kerry and John Edwards gang banged the secret sanctuary of my family's zone of anonymity. John Kerry gave my daughter the taboo Label of Lesbian, a label so taboo, so completely unmentionable, that I am forced to reiterate that blasphemy for time in memoriam. I say Lesbian to you John Kerry. Lesbian Lesbian Lesbian Lesbian! A million Lesbians on your Lesbian Privacy Violating Brain Speech Center and a trillion Lesbians to be mentioned until the word Lesbian and the words "my daughter'" are inextricably separated in public usage."
President Bush then briefly took the podium to state, "I don't know what causes lesbianism. But Dick mentioned invasion of Privacy. I just want to know how many troops we will need there."
