BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. OCTOBER 20, 2004 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Bill O'Reilly, Accused of Sexual Harassment, Says "So What?"
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Top 10 Explanations for The Bulge on Bush's Back
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Beware Terror Tales : John Kerry
Comic book cover by blorno... Full story

Comics We'd Like to See:The Constipated Math Professor
With apologies to BC... Full story

The Hanging of Lego Man
Stupid Drawings from a stupid stupid man... Full story

Cheney's Outage Over Kerry Saying "Lesbian"

Dick Cheney
WASHINGTON, DC — Vice President Dick ("Y Chromosome") Cheney, vented continued "outage outrage" at John Kerry's "invasion of my family's privacy." Cheney was referring to the Kerry use of the word "lesbian" during the third Presidential debate to describe Cheney's daughter, Mary.

Cheney's rage spilled over into an inferno of wrath, as the "violated" Vice President spoke before the United Nations to lambaste Kerry for the "illegal, immoral and hideous mention of his daughter as a lesbian." Screaming in 7 languages in succession during a TV address broadcast globally, Cheney shouted for some 16 hours before the General Assembly. His theme was singular: "John Kerry should be hanged in a public square with the letters RPL (Revealing Private Lesbianism) singed on his chest."

"John Kerry and John Edwards gang banged the secret sanctuary of my family's zone of anonymity. John Kerry gave my daughter the taboo Label of Lesbian, a label so taboo, so completely unmentionable, that I am forced to reiterate that blasphemy for time in memoriam. I say Lesbian to you John Kerry. Lesbian Lesbian Lesbian Lesbian! A million Lesbians on your Lesbian Privacy Violating Brain Speech Center and a trillion Lesbians to be mentioned until the word Lesbian and the words "˜my daughter'" are inextricably separated in public usage."

President Bush then briefly took the podium to state, "I don't know what causes lesbianism. But Dick mentioned invasion of Privacy. I just want to know how many troops we will need there."

Van Gross MD

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