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www.bongonews.com OCTOBER 20, 2004 Copyright © 2001-2014 Bongo News, Inc.
   
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Bill O'Reilly, Accused of Sexual Harassment, Says "So What?"
... Full story

Top 10 Explanations for The Bulge on Bush's Back
... Full story

Bush Skips Flu Shot, Gets Encephalitis
... Full story

Bush is Guaranteed to Win in Florida
... Full story

Bush to Authorize Use of Christopher Reeves' Spine for Stem Cell Research
The President eases his ban... Full story

Martha Stewart to Fans: Stop Sending Money, Start Sending Cigarettes
... Full story

Matt and Trey Talk About the Sex Scene in "Team America"
An interview with the creators of South Park... Full story

Why Women Shouldn't Drive
... Full story

October is Premature Ejaculation Awareness Month
... Full story

KY Uses Advertising Genius
... Full story

Beware Terror Tales : John Kerry
Comic book cover by blorno... Full story

Comics We'd Like to See:The Constipated Math Professor
With apologies to BC... Full story

The Hanging of Lego Man
Stupid Drawings from a stupid stupid man... Full story

Cheney's Outage Over Kerry Saying "Lesbian"


Dick Cheney
WASHINGTON, DC — Vice President Dick ("Y Chromosome") Cheney, vented continued "outage outrage" at John Kerry's "invasion of my family's privacy." Cheney was referring to the Kerry use of the word "lesbian" during the third Presidential debate to describe Cheney's daughter, Mary.

Cheney's rage spilled over into an inferno of wrath, as the "violated" Vice President spoke before the United Nations to lambaste Kerry for the "illegal, immoral and hideous mention of his daughter as a lesbian." Screaming in 7 languages in succession during a TV address broadcast globally, Cheney shouted for some 16 hours before the General Assembly. His theme was singular: "John Kerry should be hanged in a public square with the letters RPL (Revealing Private Lesbianism) singed on his chest."

"John Kerry and John Edwards gang banged the secret sanctuary of my family's zone of anonymity. John Kerry gave my daughter the taboo Label of Lesbian, a label so taboo, so completely unmentionable, that I am forced to reiterate that blasphemy for time in memoriam. I say Lesbian to you John Kerry. Lesbian Lesbian Lesbian Lesbian! A million Lesbians on your Lesbian Privacy Violating Brain Speech Center and a trillion Lesbians to be mentioned until the word Lesbian and the words "˜my daughter'" are inextricably separated in public usage."

President Bush then briefly took the podium to state, "I don't know what causes lesbianism. But Dick mentioned invasion of Privacy. I just want to know how many troops we will need there."

Van Gross MD
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