DECEMBER 29, 2004
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Bongo News' Man of the Year for 2004 is SpongeBob SparePants
Bongo News' Woman of the Year for 2004 is Paris Hilton
Why Santa Was Late on Christmas Night
Bush Diary "“ Playing Hyde and Seek; Rummy Visits Troops
Al Gorenko Disputes Ballots in Southern Ukraine
Bush Ancestor Went AWOL During the Crusades
Yoko Ono Appointed Spokesperson for New Chemical Castration Drug
Robert Blake's Rice Krispies
Church of St. Kitty
Bud Selig Announces a New Curse
The curse of the Bambini is lifted, but watch out for...
Robot Fighter: Jay Leno
Comic book cover by blorno...
Comics We'd Like to See: Doonesbury Blowjob
With apologies to Doonesbury...
Stupid Drawings from a stupid stupid man...
Best of Bongo News 2004
Jean Dicksin's Predictions for 2005
By Mike Pasternack
Snoop Doggy Dog will run for governor of New Jersey with the campaign slogan, "Sh*t man, at least I'm not gay!"
Jennifer Lopez will divorce and remarry again, this time to her orthodontist, announcing, "I need some dental work."
Donald Rumsfeld will resign when it is discovered that he had his maid sign all his letters to dead servicemen's families.
John Madden will be arrested for violating the Mann Act because he transported the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders across state lines.
Oliver Stone announces his next movie will be
Jason Alexander the Great
Cereal in Wheaties' boxes depicting Barry Bonds on the front will be found to contain steroids.
A basketball game will break out in the middle of a heavyweight boxing match.
Ben Affleck will star in the new bio-pic,
The Life and Times of Peewee Herman.
Arnold Schwarzenegger will be impeached as California governor after a video of him is found on the internet showing Arnold as the meat in a three-way sandwich with Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie.
President Bush will announce his new slogan at his inauguration, "It's not like Vietnam, honest!"
Read these related stories:
Jean Dicksin's Predictions for 2004
Bad Advice Column
Bush's Africa Photo Album
Bush is a Hit with the British Public
Bush: "Barney is the Son I Never Had"
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