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Condo Leaser Rice to Purchase a Townhouse
WASHINGTON, DC — Secretary of State nominee, Condo Leaser Rice, has decided to purchase a Georgetown, Washington, DC townhouse to allow for secret meetings with Pope George Dubya Bishop, also known by Rice as “my White Knight."
"I decided to purchase the townhouse because I was tired of renting," Rice told Bongo News.
"I actually didn't even have my name on the lease. It was in my uncle Thomas Rice's name. Yeah, we called it 'Uncle Tom's Cabin' when I started using the phrase 'Yes, Massuh' when addressing Pope George.
“Gary Condit used to use this place for secret rendezvouses with interns, so we have a tradition here. Pope George has promised to help simulate the Middle Ages in the townhouse’ in view of his great religiosity’ and will be using the lower level as a dungeon for me while we scheme to take over Iraq, Iran and Hooters. He sees me as a Diplomatic Damsel in Distress but is providing me with a whip in case he gets out of line.
“We'll have a War Room as well with a Round Table for the Knights of the Defense Department. We'll be using it to play Poker or Gin Rummy with Lord Don, the Secretary of War.
"As Secretary of State, I'll also be working with Pope George to use the townhouse as a launching pad in the search for the Holy Grail, also known as Dubya's lost foreign policy handbook, 'My Pet Goat.' He thinks he left it at that elementary school on 9/11.”
