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Bush Diary - I Visit Euro-land; Weinik Tapes Me
Dear Jernal,
Chainsaw finally found someone to be my new Nashonal Security Zar. Chainsaw told me to appoint Negro-pointy, so I did. I met Negro-pointy for the first time this weak, and boy was I surprised! He is white!
This weak I am writing my dieree from Euro-land, where they have a lot of Democraps and Kerry relatives. Condo Lizard told me I have to suck up to the Euros on this trip, but she promised I can ignore them later! First, I went to Belgian, where they gave me French fries! Who knew they had American food? Laura told me to eat the choclates. I ate so many I had a pretzel attack!
I had dinner with the guy Tony Blaire calls a "frog," Shellac, but Shellac has such a weird accent when he speaks Inglish I didn’t understand a word he was saying. I tried to be nice, saying to him, “Parly-voo Fran-says,” and “Bon jooer,” but he just screwed up his face. I guess his French is no good either!
I met the NATO leeders, but something went wrong with the scheduling because some of the peeple in the room were from Euro-land! Why did the American generals let them in? I saw my good pal, Tony Blaire, who was visiting from Ingland. He showed me a great picture of me on a hunting trip with him. Haha, those were good times! The Inglish peeple really like me, and the photo shows the Inglish holding up signs saying how much they want me!
Then I went to Germany to meet a guy with a Peanuts character name, Schroder, you know, the kid who played the piano. This Schroder spoke just like the Nazis in those war movies! At Condo’s urging, I gave a funny speech, where I said to the Euros, “Euro-K!” I love that joke. It gets funnier every time. Then it was on to Slavakia, where my briefing coloring book says the peeple used to be slaves of the Russians. I colored them black, but Condo said they was white! First Negro-pointy, now the Slaviaks! What’s going on? Are they pulling my leg? Isn’t it too early for the Christmas video?
Back home, I hear that my old friend, Weinik, has ratted me out with Watergate tapes! He has me saying bad things on tape. He will find his tax return is audited big time! Get ready for Gwantanamo Bay, Weinik!
George
P.S. Condo Lizard told me that the Coyote treaty came into affect this weak in Euro-land and most of the world, but not to talk about it while I’m here. The fact that most of the world signed it does not make it right! We do not need a global test. That's Taxachusetts talk! Global warning will rid us the stupid sport of hockey. Speaking of witch, hockey was cancelled anyway. That will teach those welfare state loving, dangerous prescription drug making Canadans a lesson! Let the Democraps who don’t like it in America move to Canadia, and let the Canadans who don’t like me move to Euro-land!
The Bush Diary was obtained by KDANTEATER. Some of the writing was deciphered by Julio Cesar.
