BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. MARCH 23, 2005 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
» back issues

» search site

best of
bongo news

sponsored links

in other news

Scott Peterson to Become Lawn Fertilizer
... Full story

Robert Blake: "I Can't Believe I'm Innocent!"
Scenes from the Robert Blake trial... Full story

Lil' Kim Told a Big Fib
A reader poll on this week’s trials... Full story

Michael Jackson's Feeding Tube Removed
... Full story

Mark McGwire Admits to Being a Steroid from the Planet Ster
... Full story

Europeans Oppose Wolfowitz for World Bank Chief, Say He Might Spread Democracy
... Full story

Bush Diary - Lightning Bolt for UN, Wolfy-Watzit for Wurld Bank
... Full story

Heidi Klum is Expecting a Baby Seal
... Full story

Women Found Dead in Water Tank; "We Thought the Water Tasted Better"
... Full story

Cute Animal Photos
Don’t tell PETA or the ASPCA... Full story

Weird Wonder Tales: Jim Carey
Comic book cover by blorno... Full story

Comics We'd Like to See: BC Pokemon
With apologies to BC... Full story

Yip Yap
Stupid Drawings from a stupid stupid man... Full story

Prosecutors Call for More Lying Kids and Scam-Artist Parents to Testify Against Michael Jackson

SANTA BARBARA — The District Attorney of Santa Barbara County, Thomas W. ("Mad Dog") Sneddon Jr., has issued a call for more liars to come forward to testify against Michael Jackson.

"We need more kids prepared to take Jackson down," said Sneddon. "The kid's we've been using so far have been disappointing, folding too easily on the witness stand."

He issued a call to parents experienced in shaking down celebrities to bring forward children who will hold up better under cross examination.

Sneddon has been pursuing Jackson since 1993, when he first led an investigation of Jackson for child molestation, but he was forced to drop the case when the child he was dealing with stopped cooperating with authorities.

Why is Sneddon, a 63-year old father of nine children, doing this?

"I hate Jackson's music," said Sneddon, "and especially his moonwalking. I grew up listening to the greats, Buddy Holly, Richie Valens, Dion and the Belmonts, and The Big Bopper. Jackson is corrupting our kids with his race music."

Read these related stories:

Warning: mysql_fetch_array() expects parameter 1 to be resource, object given in /home3/icc/public_html/ on line 210

Subscribe to Bongo News

bongo recommends

bongo news

Subscribe to Bongo News

Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc. | Terms of service | Privacy policy | How to advertise | About us

The Web's Wittiest News Satire

RSS Feed