Bush Diary - We're Gonna Host the Oilimpics; Now I Can Blow Up Manhattan
Dear Jernal
Darn, we lost the Olympics. I know that! At least it was to my bestest pal,
Tony Blaire, and not to those Frog weasels. Well, screw the IOC. They are
just like the UN: too internashonal. We are not goin' to let other countries
tell us what games we can host. Not on my watch! So I'm goin' to start my
own games. They will be called the Oilimpics! Only coalishon countries can
attend. They will send troops, and we will invade sum country and divide up
there oil. That's a game we know how to play!
We suckseded in sending a missile to crash into an asteroyd at a zillion
miles an hour, and it cawsed a huge fireball explosion. Yeah! I really liked
the fireworks, and they only cost $1 billion. Good deal, not my munny! The
mission was a sucksess, so I can now bomb things in outa space as well as on
urth! So watch out, space aliens! Now, the asteroyd was about the same size
as Manhattan, but nobody has picked up the significance of that yet! All I
can say is that if New Yorkers keep on electing that woman, Hillary, I have
a weppon that can deal with them!
I went on my Your'a'peein' trip to Youre'up for the Gee Ate. Screw Bob
Gandalf and Live 7 with there un-Christian rock music concert. Giving AIDS
to Afrika will not help the peeple there, they are thin enough as it is. We
are going to increase our spending ... on our own deficit! I'm goin' for the
record deficit of all time. Maybe I'll make the Guiness Book of Records.
It's the American way! Anyway, First things furst. I heard there are
starving peeple in Afrika. But then I heard there was no Terri Schiavo in
Afrika. Now what's the point of this Gee Ate summet without no Terri
Schiavo? I say "so what" about Jennyside in Sue-Dan and starving peeple in
Zim-bob-way. They should choose life, dam it!
The London bombings were real bad. The terroristz who did this are real
scumbags, and I morn the victims. Put that quote on page one. As for the
daily bombing victims in Eye-Rack? Put them on page 5 of the Crawford Times!
The London bombings prove that my War on Terror is wurking. Insted of the
terroristz striking us here in America, they are bombing our coalishon
partners. So we have shifted there focus away from us to our partners. Hot
doggie!
That former Prime Minister from Eye-Rack, An-Owie, says that the nation is
on the verge of chaos. Hey, didn't he take the Bush loyalty oth? Anyway,
freedome is on the march, we support our troops ... yada, yada, yada ...
wave the flag. Their, crisis averted! Whew, that was a close one. Luckily,
blind patriotism saves the day again!
My pal Tony Blaire says global warning is an issue. One for me to ignore!
There are other issues we have to deal with at the moment that are more
important, like hurrycanes. For some reason they are getting stronger God
knows why!
Rover is in deep doo doo. We wanted repawters to have to name their sauces,
but not when the sauces wurk for me! Now everybody knows Rover is the leeker
about the spy lady. It is not fair that Mark Felt reveels he was a leeker
and becomes a hero and gets a million dollars, but Rover is sumhow not a
hero too?
George
P.S. Willie Nelson is releesing a reagay album? He is not from Texas after
all! Of course, neither am I. Country and Reggae go together like peanut
butter and feta cheese. I am telling you, not a good thing!
