BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. AUGUST 17, 2005 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Bush Diary - Cindy She-Man is a Bad Mom!

Iraq war protest Bush Dairy
Dear Jernal,
It sure has been hot as heck at Crawford this week. And I'm not talking about the weather but that woman who is camped out at the fence and drawing all the media attention away from my wurking vacashon and my photo ops. I call her Cindy She-Man, and she sure is as ugly as any man I've met! She's also in an ugly mood and won't go away! She wants an answer as to why we went to war. That is a very good question, Cindy, that is if you are an un-American French traitor who hates out freedumb! I mean, a protest, against the President? What kind of freedumb is that? Maybe if I ignore the problem long enough, it will go away, like the WMDs. See, I made the connecshion between She-Man and WMDs! The protestors must be sent to Guantan-elmo. Non-violin terrorist supporters! If I talk to Cindy, the terroristz will win!

Anyhow, she is a bad Mom! How come she has all that time on her hands to camp outside my ranch? Now her husband has filed for divorce. He is a good man! And my next door pal, Larry, fired a shotgun over the heads of the protesters. Way to go, Larry! He done showed "˜em how we do things in Texas!

John McPain has been doing the rounds of the talk shows. He is a pain in the you-know-where! He is talking about a possible run for the Republican nommynashon against the Jebster. I wish the Vietmayonnaise would lock him up some more. We may arrange to drop him off at the edge of the Green Zone in Baghdad and let the terroritz have their way with him!

I am plump sick of this Eye-Rack war. It is old school. It is time to invade I-ran. We will not run from I-ran and, this time, we will find weppons of mass distraction! Hey, they have to be somewear! I would just level the Middle East but I have friends in Saudi Arabia and other countries there. So I-ran, a country that Chainsaw did bidness with, has nucular weppons. Beleeve me this time, I is not crying wolf. What happened to that kid who cried wolf? I bet he had Ber-Bee-Qued wolf for dinner the next day! But war is always a last resort, and whoever says otherwise does not support our troops.

I am on vacashon, and Ben Lennon is nowhere to be found. I mean, I searched my office for him. What else can I do? I am doing more than the Democraps. Their party is up cow pie creek. At this rate Kucinich has a great chance. Democrats are God-loving, not God fearing. How can you love a being that created you? I sure hate my daddy. He said I should not invade Eye-Rack, but I showed him good. And if any Republican runs against my brother, they are going to have to get past the doctored pictures of them sleeping with famous gays, I mean, non-sanktities.

I am thinking about Rover on my vacashon. His leaking story has been drowned out by Howard Scream Machine. How dare Scream Machine say Eye-Racky women have fewer rights than under Saddam Hussein. Even worse, he quoted the Eye-Racky Women's Movement. They are terrorist simpathisers. They do not understand that the more rights a man has, the more women will have. It is as simple as that. Right Condo-Lizard? How do you think she got where she is today? No, not by studying. It was all the work of the Dubya!


P.S. Famine in Niger? Let them eat yellowcake!

The Bush Diary was obtained by KDANTEATER. Some of the writing was deciphered by Julio Cesar.

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