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www.bongonews.com AUGUST 17, 2005 Copyright © 2001-2014 Bongo News, Inc.
   
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Killen is Released: "I'm Hunting Coloreds Again!"ť
... Full story

Admiral Stockdale Questions Peter Jennings at the Pearly Gates
... Full story

Gaza Settlers Moved to Crawford, Bush Evacuated to Connecticut
... Full story

Bush Diary - Cindy She-Man is a Bad Mom!
... Full story

Paula Abdul to Mate With the Male Population of Syria
... Full story

Demi Moore's Daughters Think That Ashton Kutcher is Gross
... Full story

Creationism vs. Evolution vs. Contradictionism: The Secret Untold Story - Part II
... Full story

Slave Kitten
... Full story

Winners of the Movie Anagram Contest
Anagrams for the movie title “Pretty Persuasion”... Full story

Van Gross is Fired for Racism. Wins Award. Is Rehired.
We beg him to stop writing... Full story

All Quiet on the Western Front: George Bush
Comic book cover by blorno... Full story

Comics We'd Like to See: BC Peter Pan II
With apologies to BC... Full story

Hugo's Rash
Hugo Ballz comic strip... Full story

Photographer Shot in Ass by Britney Spears' Chewing Gum


Britney Spears photographer Britney
MALIBU, California — A photographer was shot in the ass with a BB pellet outside a mansion where he believed Britney Spears was having a baby shower.

"It wasn't a BB pellet,"ť said the photographer. "It was a wad of chewing gum which Britney had been chewing for three days. She spat at it at me and it penetrated my skin!"ť

Meanwhile, a bald-headed man with a pacemaker identifying himself as "The Skipper" stepped forward to claim he was the shooter.

"I'm shootin' liberals damn it. I'm not takin' any chances the longhair with the flashbulb might induce visual surprise and a pre-term abortion for Spears. I sent my little buddy Gilligan W. Bush to the store to rustle up a test tube in case we see an embryo pop out of Britney, so we can make sure the baby makes it to delivery."

"The Skipper" and "Gilligan" were arrested by Arnold's storm troopers and flown to Abu Ghraib prison where they were shown the latest Spears' DVD while being mounted by Richard Simmons.

Van Gross, MD
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Read these related stories:

Britney Grabs a Handful (15-Sep-04)

Britney Spears Marries Guy from 'Seinfeld' (7-Jan-04)

Britney Spears Buys a Second Husband (22-Sep-04)

Britney Spears And Michael Jackson Present An Award At The MTV Music Video Awards (4-Sep-02)

Britney Spears Has Knee Surgery; Breasts Increase (16-Jun-04)




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