Photographer Shot in Ass by Britney Spears' Chewing Gum
MALIBU, California A photographer was shot in the ass with a BB pellet outside a mansion where he believed Britney Spears was having a baby shower.
"It wasn't a BB pellet,"ť said the photographer. "It was a wad of chewing gum which Britney had been chewing for three days. She spat at it at me and it penetrated my skin!"ť
Meanwhile, a bald-headed man with a pacemaker identifying himself as "The Skipper" stepped forward to claim he was the shooter.
"I'm shootin' liberals damn it. I'm not takin' any chances the longhair with the flashbulb might induce visual surprise and a pre-term abortion for Spears. I sent my little buddy Gilligan W. Bush to the store to rustle up a test tube in case we see an embryo pop out of Britney, so we can make sure the baby makes it to delivery."
"The Skipper" and "Gilligan" were arrested by Arnold's storm troopers and flown to Abu Ghraib prison where they were shown the latest Spears' DVD while being mounted by Richard Simmons.
Van Gross, MD
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