BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. OCTOBER 26, 2005 Copyright © 2001-2018 Bongo News, Inc.
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Bush Diary - Why is Steven Coldbear Trusted More Than Bill O'Really?

Bush Dairy
Dear Jernal,
I hate polls. Turns out that Bill O'Really is less trusted than that Frenchie, Steven Coldbear. That's what 15,000 Americans say, anyway. I mean, who takes these polls, The Daily Show with Jon Pooh-ert? See, I can write parody, too. Ha!

Well, you know what they say about New Jerk comedians like Jon Pooh-ert. Inbread and predictable. It's all self-effacing liberal white guys of indefinite sexual orientation saying things to get Clintooned by dizzy liberal supergirls ... or maybe by each other. Then they will create a race of sexually-confused white supergirls who will use their lasers to destroy the urth. Woah! Better raise the terror warning to Orange.

Let me tell you, Brownie must have misinterperated some of the FEMUR e-mails he got. For 16 hours he ignored eye witness accounts that the levy's had broken and had caused massive elmer fudding. He fiddled while Niro burned. Anyway, what do you expect from those who waited two days to respond to the Sue-nami, 25 years to respond to Saddam Hussein, 20 minutes to respond to 9/11, and from those who still are not reacting to jennyside in Sue-Dan? I mean, you have to be a secret CIA agent to get any attention in this Administration.

Well, like the fat lady said, "It ain't over til it's Rover.' Now the New Jerk Times is reporting that Chainsaw leaked Plame's name to her Scooter who told Rover. Look, like Rover, Chainsaw never sayed her name, so it is OK. I mean, Joe Wilson's wife could be anyone! Also, they did not commit a crime, just like Don't Delay. What he did was against Texas law, not national law. Now all we need to do is let the Supreme Count hear his case, and he will be found innosent. He will just have to take a corporate jet to his hearing like he did when he was a-rained. See, we will think of sumthing. The case will be over all in doing time.

Things are looking good for Rover. I mean, he may only get indicated for perjury and obstruct of justice, just like Clintoon. Heck, at least he is not getting indicated for being evil. That would be the worst possible way to be indicated. He could get off easy, you might say. Hutchison knows what she is talkin' about. She downplayed the seriousness of a perjury and obstrucshon of justice. I mean, just because Clintoon was impeached for the two does not mean that Rover had an affair. See, there is a disconnect!

Anyway, I am hiring a new guy to be in charge of the Federal Reserves. Spanish-Armata Sen? Hell no! We don't need any ecoanomist who believes in human rights and democracy. We need one like Ben Burnbank! A man that can suppress democracy so we can get products for cheaper with no restricshons. A free market will make everybody freedumb.


P.S. We need more oil refineries! Sure a lot of refineries have closed and oil companies are still making record prophets, but the Kat-Ass-Trophy changed all that. Well, time to attack Syria, and I-ran, and Sowdi Arabia. No, just kidding about the last one. Their our friends. Let us not forget that democracies are peaceful countries, so we must bomb those who aren't. Rose Parks would be proud, I think-tank. But seriously, we need to help the oil giants making record prophets. Remember, if we use alternative power, the terroristz and their science allies win!

The Bush Diary was obtained by KDANTEATER

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