BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. DECEMBER 21, 2005 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Saddam is Writing Books to Urge Children Not to Become Dictators

I made the cover of Tyrants Weekly. Score one for Saddam!
Dear Diary,
This crib may be humiliating, but it is larger than my fox hole. I mean this is heaven. I get a cocktail bar and all you can eat shrimp. I am loving this deal. The shrimp maybe weeks old, but heck, I am not picky. All I ask is that people give in to my every demand. Is that so much to ask?

Ramsey Clark is my hero. I was going to defend myself, but then he came along. I am a lawyer, you know. And a judge. And an executioner. Tell them about it Rummy, oil buddy, oil pal. You gave me weapons like candy. Okay, I got al little carried away and used them on my own people, but that is just who I am. What about this freedom you Americans are always talking about? I say I should be free to kill political dissidents.

The U.S. did not find my weapons of mass destruction. This is because they have not tasted my three-bean chili that releases the most lethal chemical gas in the Middle East.

I am writing books to keep children from becoming tyrannical dictators. I am hoping to avoid the death penalty. I am an innocent man and will not rest until I find the real killer. You guessed it, bin Laden. He is the reason I am in this mess. Thanks a lot, you jihadist jerk.


P.S. This trial is a kangaroo court! I mean, they are kicking me in the place that hurts. It is very painful. Even my wives did not deserve this kind of abuse, and I killed three of them!


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