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Viera Replaces Couric on ‘Today,’ Jessica Simpson Replaces Tina Fey on ‘SNL’
NEW YORK — Meredith Viera of The View has replaced Katie Couric on the Today Show, bringing a daily diet of orgasm discussions and other girl talk to the breakfast hour. This had deeply depressed Matt Lauer, who was looking forward to taking a more prominent role after the departure of the bitchy and competitive Couric, but Viera’s salty repartee has left him struggling for something equally provocative to talk about.
Meanwhile, ball-busting wise-cracker, Tina Fey, has left Saturday Night Live to bust some balls in Hollywood, where she is writing a movie and a TV pilot. Fey has been replaced as head writer and co-anchor of the fake news segment, Weekend Update, on SNL by none other than Jessica Simpson.
“People think I’m just an airhead with big hair and fake boobs,” said Ms. Simpson. “But people don’t know that before my surgery I was a serious reporter covering Iraq’s invasion of Kuwait, and I did an expose for local TV in San Diego on the food industry scandal where I discovered that a large company was substituting tuna for chicken in canned goods.
“My friends tell me that I am very funny and that I should be a stand-up comedian, but I tell then I am just as funny when I sit down.”
“I’m planning on introducing new characters in a series of sketches for SNL. One is a horrible man who marries a beautiful, blond bombshell – who is a talented singer and a movie star – but who leaves her and dates her brunette friend. The series is called ‘Big Thick Dick.’”
