BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. AUGUST 28, 2002 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Studies Show That Caffeine Protects Against Cancer, And Causes Cancer
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Kournikova May Look Good But She Is A Lousy Tennis Player

anna usopen
Anna: Looking a little chubby?
NEW YORK — Sexy Anna Kournikova was eliminated in the first round of the US Open tennis tournament at Flushing Meadows by an unknown Indonesian player. Whatever energy she reportedly exerts in her late night activities with the male players was not evident on the court, where she lost 6-3, 6-0. But without ever having won a major tournament, or even coming close, she makes $18 million a year in endorsements.

Anna wore a blue and white outfit with a bare midriff.

Read these related stories:

Britney, J Lo and Kournikova Are Spreading Nasty Viruses (6-Mar-02)

Andre Agassi is Killed by a Tennis Ball to the Brain (21-Nov-01)

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