BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. JULY 12, 2006 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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After Part of an Indian Man's Skull Fell Off, Indians Start Selling Yarmulkas

DOVER, Delaware — Doctors in Kolcata, India, say a large, dead section of the skull of a 25-year-old electrician, Sambhu Roy, fell off after severe burns starved it of blood.

His relatives in Dover, Delaware. immediately exploited this idea, and hawked pieces of their families' skulls to Jews leaving a Bar Mitzvah held at Central Dover Jewish Center.

"We got the yarmulka idea based on seeing this Jewish market where people buy anything that's been "śmarked down' in price. So we have these big signs near the synagogues saying, 'Exotic Continental Skull Caps Marked Down.' They go like hot cakes. That reminds me, you can also microwave these skull bones and turn them into pancakes. Put some yogurt on them and we sell them as 'Real Indian Breakfast Specials.' The Jews go crazy over this. Last hour, six of them chowed down my occipital bone.

" I also use the Skull Caps to stir coffee when I have my guest worker job at Dunkin' Donuts in Wilmington. There is a slight taste of skull in the coffee, but isn't that better than eating thumbs which are in so prevalent American fast food?

"Skull caps! Get your Continental skull cap, hot off my daughter's head!" sang out Vijay Vajurath's on the curb in front of the synagogue. Hymie T. Goldberg took up the offer.

"You won't believe this," the bargain-crazed accountant gushed. "I picked up a skull cap right off the top of a little girl's head. Her father stopped the cranial bleeding by cleverly yanking a wad of skin off his grand daughter's back and compressing the exposed brain area. I got a great price because I paid cash!"

Van Gross, MD

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