BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. JULY 12, 2006 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Ken Lay Wins Indonesian Surfing Competition
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Bush Makes Incursions Into America to Confuse the Enemy
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Bush Elected President of Mexico
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Justices Roberts, Scalia and Thomas Will Decide the Mexican Election
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New York Times Now Writing Terror-Sponsoring Reports in Arabic and Chinese
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Straights Mock Gays' Distress at New York Court Decision on Gay Marriage
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Keira Knightley Denies Being Anorexic, Says She Keeps Slim With Cocaine
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After Part of an Indian Man's Skull Fell Off, Indians Start Selling Yarmulkas
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How They Put Together the President's Cheering Section
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Help Us Celebrate Arab American Heritage Month
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Ask Dr. Sawtooth: What's the Difference Between the Vietnam and Iraq Wars?
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Ball-Flattening Tales: Scarlett Johansson
Comic book cover by blorno... Full story

Hugo Ballz: Three Legs
Hugo Ballz comic strip... Full story

President Proposes a New Anti-Flag Burning Bill

WASHINGTON, DC — President Bush has submitted a new, anti-flag-burning bill to Congress. The new bill strictly prohibits the burning or desecrating of the U.S., Afghani and Iraqi flags and provides strong penalties for their destruction. The amendment encourages the burning of the flags of North Korea, Syria and Iran.

"These symbols of evil should be burned!" declared the President.

While the burning of the flags of countries, other than the above was not officially addressed, the President observed, "If the people of other countries want to burn their flags, that's none of our business, as long as they don't burn our beloved emblem along with theirs.

Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice added her approval to the proposed new amendment. "My President is NEVER wrong!" she observed.

Gunther Schnitzel

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