BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. AUGUST 2, 2006 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Bush Diary - I'm a Sh*t Talker

Bush Dairy
Dear Jernal,
I can't beleave that those foaks are mad at me for saying that He's-Full'ah needs to stop this sh*t! Wait, it may be run by Bill Clinton, so it may be called He's-Blowed-Her. Back in Crawford I have simple solutions, like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches per say. Let's say I did not have much time because Arms-A-Gettin is coming so you only have two minutes to make dinner. Now I could cook something fancy like Lean Cousin, but you may have two little time. So I make a sandwhich. Now that is tasty. Now the Middle East is just the same, with Arms-A-Gettin and everything! We gotta stop this sh*t, and fast. That is why and all out war is the best i.d.-er, like the cop on my DUI.

Sure we sold weapons parts to Saudi Arabia. It's a free market. Heck, if Halliburton wants to do business with Iran, who is going to stop "˜em? Not me, that's for sure. I care about corporate security. Don't wurry, you kind foaks have Barney to protect ya. So we made a few budget cuts, it's not something that my dog can't fix. Barney says bring em ... I mean, woof. I remember what happened the last time I sayed that.

For once I am raising the bar. The American Bar Association, that is. They say that I broke the law. So what else is knew? I mean, I don't know where those Jack Abramoff photos came from: I never met the guy. Wait, focus George. Okay, I can be honest with you. That bi-sexual-partisan panel are all terrorists. They would probably defend the terrorists in the court of law. Everybody is against me. I don't understand it. Maybe if talk about stem cells. Yea, that's a good idea. After all, one day they may become cell phones.


P.S. Hey, we are looking out for the working man: if it means orange-pealing the estate tax, that is. Yea, we'll raise minimum wage, all-right. As long as you are willing to sacrifice for my rich fiends. Let's see adjusted for inflation ... divided by the years ... subtracted by the number of spots of Chainsaw's bald head. That means that you will get one million dollars. Trust me, it isn't fuzzy math. And the Democraps say I cannot handal the econamy. We're turning the corner!

The Bush Diary was obtained by KDANTEATER

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