BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. NOVEMBER 1, 2006 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Compassionate Meat: "˜We Pamper the Cows Until We Slit Their Throats'
... Full story

Fearing Being Left Behind, Republicans Begin Bribing Teachers
... Full story

Bush Diary - Waterboarding? Surf's up!
Cheney goes surfing, Bush selects his Halloween costume... Full story

Paul McCartney Amputates Heather's Other Leg in Divorce Proceeding
... Full story

Baghdad's Golden Desert Hotel Invites You to Visit
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Mr. T Says "˜Pity the Fool' Who Questions His Adoption of a Norwegian Boy
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Head-Out Parker in a Fury About the New Self-Parking Lexus
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TV Reporter Gets a Surprise
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Why it is Good to Open Your Eyes and Smile for Photos
... Full story

Ask Dr. Sawtooth: What Do the Democrats Stand For?
... Full story

Romanian Humor: Bush's Mom's Treatment of Him as a Child Explains a Lot
By Mihai Matei... Full story

Cartoon: The Pope Criticizes Islam
Will this start another international incident... Full story

Western Stories: George Clooney
Comic book cover by blorno... Full story

Hugo Ballz: Rhinestone Cowboy
Hugo Ballz comic strip... Full story

American Whites Have a Remarkable Sameness, Say Australian Aborigines

ALICE SPRINGS, Central Australia — American white people all look the same, according to a team of Australian aboriginal scientists.

"Behavior is the same too," added Dr. Goolagonga "Google" Goolagong, head of the Outback Anthropology Team investigating the United States.

"They are ridiculous overachievers with no innate talent. The women tend to be more organized but they are mindless non-stop shoppers, trying desperately to achieve the satisfaction they rarely achieve in bed thanks to mindless non-stop worker male partners who try in vain to achieve intimacy with women who have no use for their fifteen second definition of same. Both sexes are loaded with facial expressions. That's their big thing "“ that and eating sushi.

"At least the Chinese have about a hundred languages and Black people have profound complexity in rhythmic themes.

"The American Whites, by contrast, have remarkable sameness," concluded Goolagong, "They use girl talk repetitive phrasing or, on the male side, are largely mute."

Van Gross, MD

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