BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. JANUARY 10, 2007 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Hussein is Alive and Living in Argentina

BUENOS AIRES — New audio tape accompanying the Saddam Hussein hanging reveals that the former dictator was perturbed, then defiant, because none of the guards could tell him where he could buy ski masks like theirs. It seems that Hussein repeatedly asked the "execution" team to "ready up a large box of those damn black masks and make them Extra Large."

Despite hearing the constant imploring, the "kill squad" muttered little more than "play along chief; look real scared."

According to lead goon Abdul Im Anassho, "We had to say like a million times when we put him in the shroud and stained his face the ketchup, 'Don't move, you frickin' murderer and shut the hell up. Someone will go to Costco's later and pick you up a case of them just like ours.' "

Reports from Camp Dictator confirm that Ken Lay was seen at a Buenos Aires discount store pushing a shopping cart that contained Yassir Arafat and a super-sized box of "Size XL Black Ski Masks" to the express check-out counter for customers with "no more than than 10 items."

"It can get chilly in Bunk 7 so Saddam should be a nice warm 'gangsta,' " said Camp Director, Josef Stalin. "Revele is at 6 AM tomorrow. The morning activity will be making lanyards in arts and crafts so I hope Saddam took a good look at that noose because it will help him in those valuable knot tying skills."

"Evening activity promises to be a real hoot," the elderly former Soviet tyrant added. "We've got Evita playing herself in a spin off of the Broadway show. In this one, Milosevic and Pinochet bang her but they end up in a mass grave when Fidel Castro and Che Chevara come by to exact revenge while calling those other two aging faggots.

Van Gross, MD

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