BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. APRIL 25, 2007 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
» back issues

» search site

personal ad
of the week

best of
bongo news

sponsored links

in other news

Australians Are Proud They Still Own the Mass Murder Record
... Full story

Area Ho Reaps Benefits from Imus Remark
... Full story

Hillary Will Ask Bill Clinton to Conduct Foreign Affairs
... Full story

Yeltsin Dies, Embalming Unnecessary
... Full story

Alec Baldwin Calls His Daughter a Pig, Not Sure of Her Age
... Full story

Gay Governor Says His Ex-Wife is Homophobic
... Full story

Gonzales Learns Politics the Hard Way
... Full story

Letters to the Editor - Virginia Tech Mass Murderer
... Full story

Bad Signs - God Loves Liquor
... Full story

Double Entendre Comics: Lois Lane's Butt
... Full story

Tomb Babies: Bitten by a Snake
Tomb Babies comic strip... Full story

Hugo Ballz: Hillary's Fundraising
Hugo Ballz comic strip... Full story

Republicans Abandon Gonzales, Madonna Adopts Him

Madonna adds abandoned Alberto Gonzales to her growing collection
LONDON and WASHINGTON, D.C — In the wake of being abandoned by loyal Senate Republicans, cast out, as it were, by courageous ideologues afraid of losing their phony-baloney jobs, U.S. Attorney, Generalisimo Alberto Gonzales, has been adopted by pop idol and serial adoptress, Madonna.

While key Senate Republicans have seen and understood the handwriting on the wall, the President, known for both his stubbornness and his profound illiteracy, continues to support AG, the embattled AG.

"Ahn azdeh 'vestuhgayshun, induh [Senate] hearin's, wehnt furwurd, ehtz reel cleer-lahk datduh 'torney gen'rul busted no laws, did no wrongdoin," the President asserted Monday, as though doing wrongdoing was something for which a cabinet member or aide might get sacked.

Although fewer and fewer Republicans are willing to squander the political capital required to keep this administration afloat, not so for Madonna.

She has none to squander.

"Who could resist the little tick?" Madonna queried at the adoption proceedings that took place this week in the nation's capital. "That impish grin " that 'in your face' attitude " the smell."

Madonna adopted the abandoned AG in closed-court hearing, but insiders report that she has pledged to let the little man visit the White House on weekends and holidays until she gets tired of doing that and gets a puppy or a new house plant or something.

Roger Coverly

Read these related stories:

Subscribe to Bongo News

bongo recommends

bongo news

Subscribe to Bongo News

Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc. | Terms of service | Privacy policy | How to advertise | About us

The Web's Wittiest News Satire

RSS Feed