The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers I conned some free tickets to a preview in New York of The Two Towers, six days before the public opening [more...]
HUNTINGTON, NY — Senator John Edwards of North Carolina has announced he is forming an exploratory committee to assess whether he should run for President of the United States. He is encouraged to enter the race by his 99% approval rating with the dead.
At an extraordinary press conference held in Huntington, New York, Sen. Edwards revealed that he is not only a United States Senator but is also the psychic medium and star of Crossing Over With John Edward on the Sci Fi channel. He told a surprised group of reporters that he will be a President representing not only the living but will also be a voice for the dead. "I will use my psychic powers to determine what the people want," he said, "and for a small fee will also connect people with their loved ones on the other side."
A hush fell over the crowd as a strained look came over Mr. Edward's face, and as he said, "I'm getting a name starting with an H. Who is this please? He's showing me something atomic. What is this please?"
This is what is known in the mentalism trade as cold reading, and turned out to be the revelation of his proposed running mate, Harry S. Truman.
Mr. Edward/Sen. Edwards plans on announcing the rest of his proposed cabinet in the coming weeks, and political pundits predict that most of the cabinet will be a list of some of the greatest dead figures in history.
