BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. MAY 14, 2003 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Canada's Military Role Vital, Says US

canadian soldier
Crack Canadian soldier
By Tom J., our Canadian correspondent who's too modest to use his last name

TORONTO — Paul Cellucci, the US Ambassador to Canada, said he was disappointed in Canada's decision not to help the United States in its "hour of need" in Operation 'A Rocky Freedom'. Speaking at a luncheon meeting of the Rotary Club of Mississauga, Cellucci said, "Canadians are experienced at being victims of friendly fire. It would be so much better if they were getting killed instead of Brits and Americans."

Cellucci told the six members present at the luncheon, "Do you know how much we and Britain invest in each soldier? When one of our own is killed, we lose years of expensive training that produces a highly-sophisticated warrior with a potentially huge kill count. But lose a Canadian soldier, and whadda ya lose? A milkman? A plumber?"

"I think you see my point," he said, as the audience nodded.

"I implore every Canadian to write his congressman and tell him that Canada has a vital role to play in the war on terrorism. Tell him that Canadians deserve to be accidentally dead as part of the war on terrorism."

See more of Tom's work at The Spiny Stickleback. It's a good website, for a Canadian.

Read these related stories:

Canadians Need to Have Sex More Often (22-Jan-03)

WHO Lifts SARS Travel Advisory for Toronto, But Recommends People Not Visit Anyway (7-May-03)

Toyota Under Fire for Selling to the Taliban (28-Nov-01)

King of Jordan Tries to Give Saudi Crown Prince Some Advice (20-Feb-02)

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