BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. JULY 9, 2003 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
» back issues

» search site

best of
bongo news

movie review
The Matrix Reloaded

sponsored links

in other news

Kraft Responds to Rising Obesity, and Says its Stock is a "Buy"
... Full story

Dutch Government Launches Probe of Asshole
Someone has to look into this mess... Full story

Strom Thurmond Music CD to be Released Posthumously
... Full story

US Soldier in Iraq Loses His Car
... Full story

The Bongo News Generic Obituary
... Full story

Canadians Madly Buy Tons of Mad Cow Beef; "It Was On Sale!"

AIRDRIE, Alberta — Hundreds of bargain-hungry Albertans lined up in grocery store parking lots to buy cheap mad cow beef from the back of trailer trucks last week.

In less than two hours, the happy Canadians carted away almost 8 tons of mad cow beef for $1 a pound. "This is awesome," said a gleeful man, who lined up three times to by the diseased beef.

A meat manager at one store said the discounted beef will help ranchers sell beef that has had nowhere to go since the mad cow scare began in May. "It's going to help push the inventory through the slaughterhouses," he said. "It's the best thing we can do for the industry. Not so good for consumers, though."

Beef prices have been plummeting since a cow in northern Alberta tested positive for mad cow disease and international borders were closed to Canadian cattle and packaged beef.

A woman who raises cattle on her ranch northeast of Calgary said that the mad cow crisis has been particularly hard on farmers who have endured three years of drought. "We're glad we can sell some beef again," she said, and she even bought some discount ground beef in Airdrie herself. "I've got a family to feed, so I'll take whatever I can get and cut it up and put it in my freezer. She said that her husband, an engineer, just got laid off work. "He doesn't need a brain now that he's unemployed. This is probably the best beef that we are going to be eating for a while."

Warning: mysql_fetch_array() expects parameter 1 to be resource, object given in /home3/icc/public_html/ on line 210

personal ad
of the week

Subscribe to Bongo News

Subscribe to Bongo News

Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc. | Terms of service | Privacy policy | How to advertise | About us

The Web's Wittiest News Satire

RSS Feed