Saddam Pays a Surprise Visit to New York for the End of Ramadan ... Full story
Bush Fails to Wear Hair Net While Serving Food in Baghdad ... Full story
"Hey, What About Me?" Says Hillary in Afghanistan ... Full story
Joe Millionaire Chooses Linda, Not Cat, But is Rejected by His Horse and Dog ... Full story
Internet Porn Connoisseurs Find Paris Hilton "Flat" ... Full story
Paris Hilton Asks the Wizard of Love You can ask the Wizard anything... Full story
Government to Start Mailing Blacks Into White Neighborhoods ... Full story
Model Creates New Dress Craze By Mistake ... Full story
Comics We'd Like to See: Popping Zits With apologies to Zits... Full story
Tiger Woods to Marry a Hot Swedish Babe
STOCKHOLM, Sweden — The world's number one golfer, Tiger Woods, is to marry his hot Swedish girlfriend Elin Nordegren, a 23-year-old bikini model. Woods, who is 27, popped the question after the President's Cup golf tournament in South Africa. Elin replied, "Yes!" and immediately called her father in Sweden, telling him, "Daddy, we're going to be rich!"
"She called me yesterday morning and was incredibly happy," said Elin's father, Thomas Nordegren. "She is very engaged about becoming obscenely wealthy."
Tiger and Elin, his girlfriend of two years, became engaged during a four-day stay at South Africa's luxury Shamwari game reserve near the coastal city of Port Elizabeth.
Woods proposed to Nordegren during a sunset walk, as Tiger strolled through the woods with Elin and his long-time caddy, Steve Williams. Williams, who was on the look out for tigers, and for Tiger, told Woods that this was the right time to pop the question. "You've had a good series of lays," Williams advised Woods. "You've got the Wood and should go for the hole," and handed Tiger a putter.
Woods rose to the occasion and went for the pin. Elin, who always plays ball for Woods, removed her flag and applauded the shot.
The chimps in the gallery broke into wild applause, and immediately started to imitate the amorous couple.
The wedding is to take place in Sweden.
Below: Elin is big news in Sweden. Loosely translated, this newspaper headline says "This slut is too hot for Tiger."
