BONGO NEWS Satire. Parody. Jokes. DECEMBER 10, 2003 Copyright © 2001-2017 Bongo News, Inc.
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Breastfeeding Ads Seen as Having Too Much Emphasis on Breasts

pamanderson veggies
Pam eats her veggies
WASHINGTON, DC — Manufacturers of infant formulas have complained that Federally-financed advertisements promoting breastfeeding place too much emphasis on breasts.

"What is society coming to," asked an infant formula manufacturer's representative, "when there's all this emphasis on breasts? It's disgusting and immoral. The Religious Right should rise up and join us in a campaign to put breasts back where they belong, namely in porno magazines and videos."

The advertisements, prepared by the Ad Council, urged mothers to breastfeed their babies, and focused the campaign on the risks of not breastfeeding. Studies have found that babies fed formula have a higher risk of developing asthma, diabetes, leukemia and other illnesses than babies who are breastfed.

"Why is the government spending tax payer money trying to damage our product?" asked the formula spokesman. "They're trying to give the impression that formula is unhealthy. Who ever said it was meant to be healthy? It's made from industrial waste and water, for God's sake! No, our ads focus on the convenience factor."

As a result of the protests, the government has decided to eliminate from the ads references to risks of leukemia and diabetes.

"We'll just say instead that breastfeeding is messy and inconvenient," said a government official, "and that sometimes it hurts."

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